Add captionOur couch is 11 years old.  It's a greenish color, or it used to be.  The cushions are crushed down a bit in the back but this is only natural after 6 years of kids jumping off it while ignoring my screams of not to. &nbs...

"Turn right here!" Hossmom screamed.  Wine glasses cracked in the distance. "Get your finger out of my face!" I replied. "Turn, turn, turn!""I can't turn because it's illegal, there's a hill, and your finger is my face!"And here it was, Hossmom an...

Garage sales, the national past time of suburban America.  You want someone else's junk?  Then go to garage sales.  Every man's junk is another man's treasure and for a single income household with children, there's no better place to ge...

The pan is sitting on the back of the stove.  It has been there for almost two days.  It just sits there, being a pan and yet, being so much more.  It's a metaphor for marriage.  3 pieces of bacon was cooked in it, delicious bacon. ...

Take a strong look at the picture.  That puckish looking thing was my lunch.  I find that the mystery of it to be part of it's allure, enhancing the taste of it from just plain sawdust to special magic sawdust.  Yes, I ate that...

In high school, I had bad ankles.  It seemed that every time I took a misstep I would sprain one of the ankles.  It would hurt, then swell for a couple of days and then finally heal. But it was ok, because I  had awesome hair. ...

Every time I shake hands with someone, I want them to kneel before Zod.  I have no idea why but that is what I am always secretly hoping for.  Man or woman, it makes no difference.  I just want someone to randomly do the scene ...

Paper, rock, scissors. I lose.Paper, rock, scissors. I lose again.Paper, rock, scissors.I wonder why I keep playing and what makes it worse is that I wonder why I play when the prize is every marital decision that my wife and I have ever made. In tr...

I am standing by the front door. We have two little side windows that flank the door providing a great way to glimpse out whoever comes up. It is also a great way for guests to glance in and see me walking around in my underwear or scratching ...

"Dad" my daughter says. "Why are you and Mom yelling?" "Dad" my son follows up. "Yelling is to loud, you shouldn't yell at Mom." I am an opportunistic parent and I find that this is the perfect opportunity to teach my children some life lessons. ...