A few days later, we received word that my wife’s car was a write-off. Bad enough, but our delightful insurance company insist that we pay for the remainder of the policy year, which means shelling out over £200 for a car we don’t have. Hmm, we’ll see about that, Sheila’s Wheels, but don’t hold your breath.

Our house move has pretty much fallen through. Don’t know if you’ve noticed, but the economy has gone a bit pear-shaped lately, and no-one’s lending. Bottom line is, we can’t get a mortgage and as such the house we’d set our hearts on is out of arm’s reach.

Then, this morning, I awoke to find my car had a flat tyre: punctured by a bolt from the wreckage of my wife’s car, in some kind of cruel twist of fate which handily wraps the week’s events into a nice bow.

So I’ve been feeling pretty sorry for myself lately. But I need to man the flip up and stop being such an idiot.

Yes, my car is damaged, but it’s a company car. And it’s a company car because I work for a company, whilst millions of people in this country would kill to have a job.

The car’s a write-off, but at least we get a bit of cash in the bank. And the tyre? I changed the wheel myself, for the first time in my life. I feel totally alpha male. I hummed the Top Gun tune to my wife. And again, company car, so a replacement tyre won’t cost a penny.

Most of all, we have our health. I’m healthy, if you turn a blind eye to my rapidly swelling second chin. My wife is healthy and fit, so much so that she managed to outrun a herd of stampeding cows when out for a jog a few days ago.

And my children are healthy. We know people whose children are seriously ill. Kids with Cystic Fibrosis, epilepsy, autism. One of my best friends and his wife have to look after a baby whose legs will be in plaster for months, and here I am whinging because moving from one house to another house might not happen today.

There are parents out there with children who are terminally ill, and those children are smiling and happy and taking each day as it comes. There are parents – a few of whom I’ve met in writing my latest book – who are mourning the death of a baby they craved for nine months, yet they still find the strength to get up in the morning.

I’m not sure why I’m telling you all this. I guess this post is more for myself, than anything else. So what if we’ve lost a car? Some people have lost a child. So what if we’re not moving house? Some people are on the streets.

So man up, Wakeling, and stop being such a girl. (Apologies, girls.)

“Break through the undertow, your hands I can’t seem to find. Pollution burns my tongue, cough words I can’t speak. So I stop my struggling, then I float to the surface. Fill my lungs with air, then let it out 
I give it all, now there’s a reason why I sing, 
So give it all, and it’s these reasons that belong to me”

I’m just going to go ahead and say this: I am one of the biggest Stretch Arm Strong (the band) fans that ever lived. Their music has been, and will always be, a major part of my life. Today’s song however, might top them for the number one seat in my favorite songs list. I was introduced to Rise Against by a friend of mine at work a while back. I was immediately captivated not only by their musical aspect, but lyrical genius as well. This song captivated me from the very first time I heard it.

Let me break down why this particular song means so much to me. For those who haven’t read my post on my UNFILTERED blog, please check it out here before continuing. That post was written after one of the longest weekends I have ever spent at work. The last few days have seemed that epic to me, and being away from home and my family so much has hurt my heart to its core. I have been sore, exhausted, and barely able to hold my head up/

“Breathe, the air we give, the life we live, our pulses racing distances, 
so wet my tongue, break into song, through seas of competition,”

This song is where a lot of the strength to get up, dust off, and keep pressing on comes from. There has to be a voice inside of one’s self that speaks louder than the negativity. There has to be a strength that is sought after and found. It doesn’t just appear from nowhere. As a husband and a dad, I often find myself feeling overwhelmed with life. From bills to sick kids, work, and The Wifey going to school. I feel like I can’t keep going and offer everything I have to them. But then I remember that they are the reason I do this all.

“We give it all, now there’s a reason why I sing,
So give it all, and it’s these reasons that belong to me
Today I offer all myself to this I’m living for my dying wish, 
I give it all, now there’s a reason, there’s a reason, to give it all”

Not only has this song helped me when I was low, but it has also been the backbone music to the strength to do new things, step into unknown territories, and conquer the things in life I need to in order to be what my family needs me to be. There are many things I would like to change about myself. Health wise, attitude wise, mentally, physically. Many things that take more strength than I typically possess.

Today, and one day at a time, I offer all of myself to my family. There is a reason to give it all. There is a reason to brush myself off, pick my feet back up, and continue to press on. My dying wish, to know that I did all I could for my family. That I was what they needed me to be, when they needed me to be it, and that is what I live for.

I was recently asked to review a new novel by author Jud Nirenberg named Samson’s Walls.

In this novel Mr. Nirenberg takes the story of the Samson from the Bible to a new level, letting the story take life much more than I would have thought when I first heard of the novel.

Prior to receiving the novel, I did a bit of research on the story itself and found that the story revolves around the story of Samson. But is also examines the society that he was born in, raised and tempted within.

As the publisher states:

In a Canaan where Philistines and Hebrews vie for dominance, it is important to know one’s place. Samson is isolated in his, trapped by unusual rules and expectations. He was promised to his parents by an angel, destined to grow into a great man and make his people strong. Raised with Philistines for playmates, he aches to be a part of their world. At marrying age, he chooses a Philistine wife. When his new family denies him the acceptance he craves, he releases years of frustration and loneliness in blood.

Samson goes into hiding, seeking to make peace with his wife’s people. Other young Hebrews soon join him, each with their own reasons for rebellion. Even while longing for peace, Samson leads this growing army. He is trapped by his successes and grows in fame and power, taking enemy territory. He is alone.
He tastes love when he meets Delilah, the unlikely prostitute-queen of a village in no-man’s land. She is the opposite of the clannish divisions he hates, with unclear ethnic origins and leading a mixed community. They become intimate as Philistine spies gather around them. Samson and Delilah are ensnared in Samson’s fight to fulfill his own heart’s need despite his tribe’s and God’s expectations.

Not to say that I know a lot about the story of Samson and Delilah outside of the basics, but this story explodes the story that I knew wide open. The author does take some leeway in the story by naming Samson’s mother, but he states this up front for the reader to understand. He also does base his novel in some fact as well. Thus, it sometimes is hard to determine what is fact and what is fiction, which is the trademark of a good novel.

Once I started reading the novel itself I can honestly say that it was intriguing and it did draw me in, even more that I would have expected. I decided to try and ask the author a few questions to get some more information on his motivation for writing this book as well as a few other questions including:

1) What led you to have an interest in Samson and in writing about his life?

If you find the intersection of theology and history interesting, then Samson’s story is a fascinating section of the Bible. Its themes would have been common in the Mideast of its time but are shocking to readers, especially in the Western world, today. After all, it’s about people mass murder and burning animals and people alive. God encourages tribalism, or at least the people in the story interpret His will that way. Part of the pleasure of planning and writing the book was the research on 13th century B.C. Canaan and part was the exploration of the messages buried within the story.

And not least of all, there’s the matter of psychology. I wanted to make some sense of all the violence and loneliness and to make sense of all the irrational behavior of the Biblical telling of Samson. A man visits a prostitute and she wants to tie him up. He agrees. She calls in his enemies to kill him. He escapes. Then he goes back to her and lets her tie him up again. And again. What’s going on here? Turning the story into something with real people whose motives make sense to us was an exciting challenge.

2) What type of parallels do you see in the society that Samson lived within and in today’s society?

People who read Samson’s Walls will be able to relate to someone in the story. The characters live in a very different society from ours but human needs are the same. We want to be loved, to fit somewhere, to trust someone. We can feel torn between the expectations of others – of our culture, our family, of what we believe God wants – and what we deeply wish.

3) What do you hope that your readers will take from this book?

We’re all tied together by our commonalities. War and violence don’t have winners and losers. We’re bound together and share our fates with those who are connected to us, even those connected to us by accident or by animosity. Samson’s story is tragic because he seems fascinated with his enemies but this never leads to a peaceful relationship.

I think the power dynamic between the men and women in the book, and especially between Samson and Delilah ought to get a lot of readers talking.

4) How much of your novel is based on fact and how much is fiction?

A lot of research went into giving the reader a historically coherent picture of the setting, its cultural and political conflicts and the lifestyles. In that sense, it’s aimed at showing fact. As for the story itself, I’d say I aimed for fidelity to an original. I tried to write a novel that is faithful to the Biblical version, building on it without deviating from its shape. This makes Samson’s Walls very different from other novels about the same people. I didn’t just change the plot without respect for the Bible. The last well known novel about Samson inspired a Cecil B. DeMille film that took extreme liberties. Samson’s Walls is an attempt at greater fidelity.

I found it interesting to find out while researching this book that the novel is now in pre-production as an opera, to be initially performed in 2010 in Washington, DC. Music is being composed by Gregg Martin, with Nirenberg consulting on the libretto. See http://www.greggmartin.net/ for more information.

The featured product in this post was provided to me free of charge by the author. All opinions expressed in this review are my own and not influenced in any way by the company. Please refer to this site’s Terms of Use for more information.

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