There may be some wacky chatter between walleyed politicians. There may be concerns the Mirada Cosgrove is ushering in a new era of free love. There may be widespread conviction that our governmental institutions are staffed by overpaid, underworked, slacking remora.

But there is no Gardasil controversy.

After human trials on almost 30,000 people, Gardasil was approved by the FDA for prevention of infection by the Human Papillomavirus (HPV) more than five years ago. Its use is recommended by the Centers for Disease Control, the American Academy of Pediatrics, and the World Health Organization — which notes that the cervical cancers caused by HPV are the second greatest cause of female mortality due to cancer in the world.

There is no clinical evidence of any side effects beyond a sore arm and dizziness. There are plenty of people that have reported additional side effects to the CDC (anyone can). There have been people who have died in the period after they were given the vaccine (everyone will, eventually). But there is no established linkage.

16,000 women a year are diagnosed with cervical cancer in the United States.

Yes, the vaccine is marketed by Merck. Big mega-corp drug company. They stand to make a boatload of cash if states were to adopt mandatory vaccination laws. I’m thinking that’s how the system is supposed to work, right? When you invent a vaccine that can save thousands of lives?

I supported Rick Perry’s efforts to mandate Gardasil vaccination in our state, and found the far-right uprising against his executive order to be a deliciously ironic Faustian moment. But tragic. A group of parents that somehow escaped from the set of “Footloose” felt that the vaccine might promote promiscuity. Try picturing the mind of a teenager. Now picture a teenager contemplating becoming sexually active. Now picture the deciding factors, in order. Where do those shots she got when she was eleven rank in significance. Seriously?

I’m pro-vax to begin with and feel that handing out free condoms and clean needles at health clinics, teaching sex education beginning in the fifth grade, and Gardasil vaccinations are a good idea. To oppose Gardisil seems completely wacky to me. Some may feel that the government has no business making this decision for them which is fine with me as long as they decide to get their little tea partiers vaxed before they go spreading their kooties all over the church retreat.

This is not some kind of radical, unproven method of disease prevention. It is not a corporate conspiracy, or a government conspiracy, or a Zionist/World Health Organization conspiracy. It’s just good pubic health policy. And isn’t that one thing that the government should be around to do?

I have a daughter, and, yes, she will.  My sons, too, as soon as our lame insurance company wakes up.

Will you?

[Update: In response to this post, someone forwarded me a article -- not linking, sorry -- that claimed to have compiled over 100 entries in medical journals showing the dangerous side effects of vaccinations. At first it was a discouraging list. I read a couple of the articles, and found they were both about a vaccine no longer on the market.  A quick lap through this list revealed that over 70% of the listed articles were over 30 years old. Many of the vaccines studied were no longer on the market. And all vaccines currently on the AAP schedule have been reformulated in the last 15 years. The list was intimidating and frightening, and mostly irrelevant. A good reminder about the ol interweb and what can be found there.]

Parents Need to Talk to Their Kids About Sex    

by Mary Jo Rapini, MEd, LPC

Mary Jo Rapini, MEd, LPC, is a licensed psychotherapist and co-author with Janine J. Sherman, of Start Talking: A Girl’s Guide for You and Your Mom About Health, Sex or Whatever. Read more about the book at www.StartTalkingBook.com and more about Rapini at www.maryjorapini.com.

Are Safety-Obsession Playgrounds Spoiling Our Children?: In a recent paper published in the journal Evolutionary Psychology, Norwegian psychologists Ellen Sandseter of Queen Maud University in Norway and Leif Kennair of the Norwegian University for Science and Technology write that “risky play” among young children is a necessary experience that helps children learn to master their environments. Protecting children from any risks in their playtime could breed children that are more likely to be anxious and afraid of danger. (ABC News)

Water Frogs Linked to Illness in Young Kids: Frogs might be cute to look at but they might be hazardous to your children’s health, which is why The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention  is warning parents to keep young kids away from water frogs and their habitats. (CNN.com)

Bed Sharing With Toddler – No Harm, No Benefit For Kids Over 1: According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, it’s not advised for parents to ever sleep with infants before the age of 6 months.  That’s the time when babies are most at risk for sudden infant death syndrome.   But the study authors and the AAP agree that once a child is 12 months old , co-sleeping or bed-sharing with parents is really up to the preference of the family.  (CNN.com)

Are Kids Safer With Grandparents Driving?: When children are involved in a car accident, they are less likely to be injured if grandma or grandpa are driving rather than mom or dad, a new study suggests. (Reuters)

Harry Potter Turned a Generation of Kids Into Readers, Data Shows: It’s powerful to hear children and adults talk about how the Harry Potter series has affected their lives — how it taught them about the importance of friendship and love, and how heroes are not always the biggest and the strongest, and how failure and adversity can make us stronger. (Scholastic)

Stop picturing us having sex. That’s not very nice.

My wife and I began our relationship as any two relatively awesome people do… We were friends for a while, long distance. Then we met and got into a relationship, and had some awesome sex. Pretty much every day. We got married and this sex continued.

As an aside, know this: 1. My wife loves me very much, and I her. 2. I’ll try to be the least pornographic I can in writing this post. But that will be hard. Wait. There’s probably a pun in there…

HER EGGO WAS PREGGO
Then my wife got pregnant as the result of this awesome, great sex. I definitely had my “I don’t want to bruise the baby” thinking cap and underwear on, which probably contributed to our general feeling about sex falling off the to-do list of our lives. We were all about the baby and our sex lives were made even more unavailable by my booking tons of work as an actor that year. I worked my ass off.

We tried to be intimate and physical but it wasn’t the same. Simultaneously, I was feeling like the most masculine guy I’ve ever been. I impregnated a woman. I am man. Boom.

Is it cheesy if I sing Total Eclipse of the Heart? Yep. ♬Turnaround…♬

And she was even more beautiful to me, so it was difficult keeping my hands to myself. Pregnant women don’t glow. They radiate, like stellar objects. There was definitely a trimester where things picked up, but things always felt really tentative and a bit disconnected. To be honest, I think we were both so excited about our future son, that our future and present sex took the hit, falling victim to our best laid plans. I really have to stop with the entendres…

AFTER THE FLOOD
After Finn’s birth, I gave my wife and her chocha the time they needed to recover from their natural delivery before diving back into things. You know, two days. Joking….

I knew it was probably smarter to let her come to me and ensure she felt better about her recovery. But that’s where it got funny. She didn’t. I could tell that the pregnancy/birth experience was one of those “this changes everything” deals. So we carried on. She tried her best to breastfeed and stay awake, and I just kept eating.

I gained a total of 30-40 pounds from the beginning of her pregnancy to Finn’s first three months of life. So I wasn’t looking my sportiest, manliest best, whatever. And this won’t sound good, writing it now, but I was transforming into a woman: soft and curvy.

WORK IT OUT
So, as I stated in “Pregnancy Weight Is Ugly”, I worked my ass off again, but literally. I quit sugar, I dieted, I worked out again. I tried to shove my physical life back into this new fathering life and it was hell. I would workout at home in front of Finn in his little swing contraption. I took him on hikes. I went to the gym sparingly and without any sleep. The worst part was: when you don’t sleep, your body doesn’t change as fast. So it took double the work.

But I did it.

I texted this image to my wife while prepping to audition for Superman. It worked like kryptonite.

I worked for hours and days on my body to get fit, mostly for myself and my career, but I’d be lying if I said those were the only reasons. I really wanted to do it so my wife would find me attractive enough to want to have constant, ridiculous, while-Finn-was-asleep-in-the-other-room monkeysex with me.

But I didn’t get that.

I mean we had sex, and it happened more often, I guess. But the change was even more evident. Maybe my awesome foreplay needed help… Walking around bottomless in our room used to do it, but it barely raised an eyebrow now. My patented phrase “JumpOnIt” didn’t seem to fire things up anymore, either. Doing naked jumping jacks? No dice. Maybe it was the fact that sex meant something else now, it meant a means to a painful end.

So now I don’t know what to do. I love my wife. I just want her to rock my socks off a little more, ya know? Can someone email her about this post and tell her I’m ready for her. Anytime. Any place. Thanks.

Email her here: Vote4Sex@howtobeadad.com

PS: Not even kidding, this will go to her.

Read more “Notebook” posts, click here!
And stay tuned for tomorrow’s “INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAM” post. It’ll blow your MIND!

Ahem. If Da-da may have your attention, please. The Ultimate Prophylactic, that is, the ultimate pregnancy prevention device, involves the following. We could start anywhere, but let’s start with one possible fated outcome: cat woman. She leads to…

Fig. 2. Opening the hood.

…THIS…

Fig. 3. Sharing germ-laden saliva. Sexy!

 …and perhaps THIS, occasionally progressing to…

Fig. 4. The naughty bits.

…THIS (disgusting, but fuzzy), which every now and then (nine months later) leads to a couple months of…

Fig. 5. Pregnancy nausea (beta carotene version).

…THIS, along with denial and doubt and other D-words, but not in a nice, fun way. This moves on to…

Fig. 6. The alien.

…THIS, which other humans encourage for a variety of reasons, not the least of which is sharing the misery.

Fig 7. Post-pregnancy cleavage. Enjoy.

Fig. 8. The child (with future pot pie).

Fig. 9. Parenthood.

…THIS. Parenthood: The Ultimate Prophylactic. Of course, this is only the beginning. Your cute little chreub eventually turns into…

Fig. 10. The teenager.

…THIS. If by some miracle you’re still in the mood, Da-da suggests reviewing the above images again.

The Bolt by Fragonard

Things are heating up over at GeekMom this week, as we tackle an appropriate subject for this time of year. Yes, Sexuality and the Geek Week is upon us, and we’re throwing open the covers on the subject. Who would make a better love interest, Spock or Kirk? What was the scoop with Mulder and Scully? And is our obsession with Mr. Darcy really healthy?

Our first tantalizing tidbit is from Rebecca Angel, whose piece “How to Get Laid in Every RPG Session” really cuts to the chase:

I did not set out to make such a stud, but it became a highlight in my role-playing career. He was a good guy, but a total jerk. I had the fun of acting like a villain in my personal life, but plot-wise I always was the hero (so the party wouldn’t kick me out.) I’ll tell you my experience and I encourage you to steal any part of my character for your own sordid enjoyment.

First of all I played a guy. I had always played girl characters because I am a girl, and feel we need to be represented in the traditional male-dominated fantasy setting. But I had just played a couple of girls, and one pre-gendered teen (long story for another post) and was in the mood to try something different.

Into my imagination waltzed Prince Percy (Percival, but don’t call him that) Victors, complete with 18th century pink satin and ruffles; looking at me with a bored expression. He was a royal, pampered, wealthy “dandy,” a squeamish vampire (hated the sight of blood — yes, it made for interesting moments), was lecherous and very, very charming. He was also bisexual, but preferred women. Percy was an impeccable dresser and carried a black-lace Hello Kitty parasol to keep off the sun. Oh, and he was a complete asshole.

Read the rest of Rebecca’s post over at GeekMom, and stay tuned for the rest of the week. If you dare!

We also touch on other topics, as always, including news of an upcoming give-away of a Dell Inspiron Duo, like the one you may have noticed in our CES show.

You can CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO CAST OF DADS EPISODE 39

Topics discussed in this episode include:

• Gremlins on the show
• New Skype
• Content Rules Book Tour
• Meeting Mrs. Brad
• Marketingprofs Digital Marketing Forum
• Having “the talk” with our kids
• Ongoing conversations about sex and relationships
• Love the Way You Lie
• Daddy Dates
• “Daddy, what is a Men’s Club?”
• The new world of dating
• Picking up a date with a shotgun dad waiting
• Valentine’s Day
• Big giveaway on a future show from Dell & Intel

If you have been enjoying the Cast of Dads (“The Mother of all Daddy Podcasts!“) please tell your friends about the show and have them subscribe to either our direct feed or via iTunes.  Also, please leave us a review in iTunes!

Cast of Dads is a group of podcasting and blogging dads who gather to gab about fatherhood. The cast of dads includes C.C. Chapman, Jeffrey Sass, Max Kalehoff, Michael Sheehan, and Brad Powell, who collectively represent 13 kids from the youngest of babies to full grown adults. Each of them brings a unique perspective to being a father.

Jeff Sass is the proud dad of ZEO (Zach, 22, Ethan, 20 and Olivia, 19).  He is also a seasoned entertainment and technology exec and active social media enthusiast.  You can see more of Jeff’s writing at Sassholes! and Social Networking Rehab and you can listen to Jeff on the Cast of Dads podcast.??

Photo Credit: iQoncept – Fotolia.com

To help in this pursuit, I thought that this week, I’d provide a few tips on how to ask your wife for fellatio:

• If you are in the first year of marriage, you hopefully shouldn’t have to ask. It should be part of your wife’s nighttime ritual, in between brushing her teeth and putting in her night guard.

• If you are in the 2-5 year range of marriage, the way to ask is, “Will you?” That’s all you have to say. She knows.

• If you’ve been married 5-10 years, the proper way to ask your lady for fellatio is, “I mowed the lawn today, and I took the kids to get new shoes.” That’s all you have to say. She knows what you mean.

• Now, life starts to get good once you’ve passed the decade mark. If you’ve been married for 10-15 years, the way to ask is to grab her head and say, “SUCK IT!” It’s nice when a man can hit the point in a relationship when he can be himself.

• Finally, for 15-20 years of marriage, typically the years when the kids are finishing up high school, the proper way to ask is to say, “Remember that thing you used to do?” That’s all you have to say. She knows what you mean.

Remember, before you can love others, you have to first love yourself. And before you can love yourself, your wife gives you fellatio.

Photo Credit: Woman of Scorn

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