I literally take one step to my right and enter Ella’s room only to find her lying on the floor in her “groundhog hole”  This is nothing more than blankets on the floor next to her bed and her comforter hanging down from the mattress above.  She promptly pauses the TV that is only just passed the opening credits.  She is allowed to turn it on while I read to Pax.  I bend down and turn it off to mild protests and take it out of her room for the night.  If I leave it in, she will be sure to climb down and turn it back on, this I know from past experience.  I lay down on the floor, my head on her pillow but my feet facing the opposite wall, and I look into her eyes as we talk about her day.  I love these late night (8:00 PM) conversations with my daughter where I get to hear about school and how she treated her brother and what Mommy did with them that day.  Sometimes, like last night, I get to use these times to talk to her about Jesus and the reason we celebrate Christmas and it makes me well up with tears inside (O.K. sometimes I’m a girl) at how precious these moments are and that I hope we will have them for the rest of her life.  We pray, she requested I pray for her school and ballet and Miss N. and Mrs. G and all of her friends.  Then I reach over to give her a kiss goodnight.  ”Four!” she says, “on my cheek!” “Four…or fourteen?” I ask, but playfully give her four kisses on her cheek before she turns her face and says, “Fourteen!” I count out each kiss, “Slower!” she demands.  ”Was that fourteen?” Yes it was.  Now it’s time to go to sleep.

I tell her I love her and then take out her hearing aids.  I go to her Hello Kitty CD player and turn up the volume just a little.  She’s listening to the same song on eternal repeat. “I can’t hear it,” she says.  I turn it up a little bit more and set it on the floor so the acoustics will travel under her bed and reach her in her groundhog hole.  At the door, I turn one last time to sign my love to her, then close the door behind me.

Ten minutes later, Ella screamed at the top of her lungs.  Scared of what, I’ll never know… some sound she says.  But this is after she thought for quite some time about what it is that actually scared her.  Now I lay my head down next to her again and she wraps her hands around my neck, “You’re stuck!” Time goes by, she knows that I’m thinking about telling her to close her eyes and she starts trying to keep them shut of her own initiative by holding her eyelids down with her fingers.  ”I’m having a hard time. Closing my eyes.” I didn’t even say anything but she was afraid that if she stayed awake for too long I’d get up and go downstairs.  Eventually, I’m able to squirm out from under her arms, but she cries about being scared so I relocate her to her bed and cover her with all kinds of blankets and put her CD player back on the shelf.  It’s still cycling through the same song over and over again.  She lets out a sigh of contentment and then pretends to go to sleep.

Once downstairs I’m startled to my feet when I hear her music at full blast, at the loudest crescendo of the song!  Again I burst into her room to find her laughing her heart out about turning up her music so loud.  After compromising on the volume I open her door and could see Pax in his bed through the crack.  That’s when it hits me and I just had to laugh.  God gave me two kids who were perfect for each other. Ella with her loud blaring music and Pax who kindly sleeps through it all!

Good God, kids have so much energy. They don’t stop moving, squirming, or fussing. And mostly, they never tire out and want to fall asleep at night. If you don’t know, my children are 4 and 2 1/2…so you know how things are going if you have similar ages.

Right, hectic at times!

I need to write tonight (now this morning). I think it helps me deal with the struggles I go through with my “Groundhog’s Day” life. Same thing day in and day out. Same mornings, same evenings, same old thing.

Ah, the beautiful morning…la la la LA la la laaaaaa!

Ok let’s start with the morning. It’s 5:45am and my son decides for some crazy reason that he is”bored” in bed and wants needs to wake up. Who’s name gets screamed? “MOOOMMMYYYY!!!!!”.  Who has to go in to his room? RIGHT! The author of this post, me, Daddy! I’m not going to ask “why is that?” because it won’t do any good. It’s been that way for over 4 years. My wife just loves to sleep. I an early bird (and night owl), probably why my kids are so messed up with sleeping.

At least lately I’ve been having my son stay in bed until 6am despite his concerns that he thinks it is boring. GOOD! I want it to be boring. I am also having him color pictures which he loves to do, which makes him stay in his bedroom (I’m in here now typing this). And right now I’m thinking that after his pictures we’ll go downstairs and do ‘adult things’ like fold the laundry. He’s going to love that? Who cares! It’s a morning adult task — and those are what Mommy and Daddy do when we wake up in the morning. I will refuse to turn on the TV like I’ve done many times in the past. He just needs to learn to sleep in until 6:30am at least.  Without sleeping in my son gets tired in the afternoon, his “batteries” wear out and takes refuses to nap at home on the weekends. This has an ill effect on our evening and bedtime routine. He is sometimes a real bear to get to bed, going into a meltdown just after dinner. So parents beware, kids NEED to nap/rest on the weekends. Or at least have quiet alone time, time to recharge. Definitely makes the night time more fun for all. (because lately I have zero patience for meltdowns and whining).

Ok so that was my mornings…now let’s learn about my evenings.

Our kids both attend a great daycare school and he pick them up around 5:30pm and therefore get home around 6pm. Yeah, it’s not the most ideal situation, but we’ve gotta work and that’s just how it is. We’ve accepted it. So by 6pm, they are usually hungry, sometimes a little snack in the car helps with the hunger pangs.  Sometimes nothing helps and that hunger turns to them arguing. They BOTH want the attention of either Mommy or myself, whomever picked them up from school. Ok, that is natural for them to want to share their day with us. I love to hear it too! But not both at the same time. Recall, ages 4 and 2 1/2…so the battle between then ensues and my head is ready to explode.  Yesterday I had enough and just cranked the music up in the car — and I mean loud! It was the Cha Cha Slide song. They both love to listen to it and try to stomp their feet while strapped into the car seat. Of course the song only helped for so long. Soon after the next song came on, my son’s new favorite (Beautiful Girls buy Sean Kingston — don’t ask…he must like the beat…) things went bad, fast! My daughter started to sing along but didn’t get the words right…so that made my son go ballistic. I had to pull over and stop. That didn’t help. I had to get out of the car. That didn’t help. I then (honest to God) smacked his cheek very lightly to get him to stop. It did. He was being extremely disrespectful to me at that moment and it’s been a thing of his to yell at mommy and me when he’s upset. Anyway, I feel bad for doing that but I need a way for him to learn he cannot CONTROL us and I know that i need at way to not let his control me or my wife. Otherwise I’ll be crazy in 9 years when he’s a teenager!!

Ok, we’re home and I need a beer. Dinner was good and bathtime was good. Good!!! Earlier crisis forgotten.

Bedtime, yay!!

Noooo. Bedtime battle! I typically put my daughter to bed which was always an easy task until about 2 months ago. She’s starting to not want us to leave the room. Yeah, I know…that is common for 2 year olds and up. They start to realize we are not there in their room. But why does she cry??? Let’s investigate.

Does she seem afraid?

Heck no! My daughter says to me with a laugh, “Monster get my toes…better cover up!” So what do you think? Afraid? No way…just a stall tactic.  I won’t be fooled.

Is she screaming to get attention?

DEFINITELY!!! Even after a bath and fun times asking about her day and then 3 books, she still wants “One more book”.  If I hear that “One more time” I’m gonna freak out. Now wait….I’m not being a grumpy old Daddy. I’m being reasonable.  I’ve tried the “one more book” sob story many nights…and it turns into my reading her what equates to a whole shelf of books and lasting until 9pm.

So my thing is to enjoy about 30 minutes with her and then read three books, whichever books she wants. I try to read the last book in her bed, the others I read on the floor or chair. Then I let her pick a song for me to sing, like “Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star”, “Baa Baa Black Sheep”, or “ABC’s“. Of course, last night I got half one through Baa Baa and she switched to ABCs. I just kept going with the flow and made a longer medley of songs. This is her way of keeping me in the room longer.

But after repeated warnings of “Daddy is going to bed now” I finally stand by the door as she’s crying out my name and slip out with a “Goodnight Sweetie, I’ll see you in the morning”. I then stand outside the door for a few minutes and soon the crying becomes wimpers and then nothing. I’ve peaked in after 10 minutes to sometimes find her sound asleep and other times she is still up reading books to her stuffed animals. I don’t mind if she is reading until 9pm. It’s good for her to learn to fall asleep on her own. My wife and I messed up with our older son, he still needs us to stay in his room. Things are getting better with that…some day things will be all good.

I found the below information on FamilyEducation.com:

Now, what about the screaming? Is she tired? Since she falls asleep in five minutes, it seems unlikely that her screaming is because she is not tired. To encourage a regular sleep pattern, try waking her at the same time each morning. At this age, one afternoon nap of no more than two hours should be sufficient.

If you stay in her room or extend her bedtime ritual, she interprets her screaming as successful. It would be better to leave the room and ignore her crying (though it may get worse before it gets better). (From Family Education web site)

Closing

I write my true feelings to share with others. If I did something bad I’ll mention it. Sure, I try to find humor in what I write, but this stuff is real. If you’re a new parent I want to give you my issues, my fun stories, and any ammunition you may need to battle similar situations that I’m facing. Good luck to all the Dads out there.

If you have similar situations let me know. I could also use some help from time to time and appreciate your comments and feedback.