“Different sh*t, same day.” - A recap of our Wednesday after changing the second poopy...

Fat Neal: That sword was one of a kind. It was forged by my ancestors. Pierce: I hump it.

“Lael, don’t. Daddy will get mad,” Seth says two or three times while I am working. “What is Lael trying to do?” I ask as his words finally cut through the fog. “Lael wants to thumbtack the blanket to the floor.” “Lael NO! That’s very creative and very wrong.” “Dad, ...

“Lael, don’t. Daddy will get mad,” Seth says two or three times while I am working. “What is Lael trying to do?” I ask as his words finally cut through the fog. “Lael wants to thumbtack the blanket to the floor.” “Lael NO! That’s very creative and very wrong.” “Dad, ...

"I'll keep you from reading if you don't give me another Skittle." -- Lael, employing a classic technique for extorting candy from her brother.

"I'll keep you from reading if you don't give me another Skittle." -- Lael, employing a classic technique for extorting candy from her brother.

My wife comes out of our daughter’s bedroom after trying to put her to sleep. “Lael says I smell funny. Do I?” I get up from my computer. “No, you smell pretty good to me,” as I give her a playful sniff and a hug. That elicits a laugh. “Good, ...

Diva-J has been a bit of a slow poke lately when it comes to finishing her meals. The other night at dinner the following was overheard... Diva-J - Don't worry mom, I'll be done in a gypsy! J-Mom - You mean you'll be done in a jiffy?...

“OK, mommy and daddy kiss on the lips because we’re married. If you’re not married....” Dad talking to his preschooler on way to class.

My wife, Anne, to guests: "The sounds you are about to hear are my daughter’s Whoopee cushion."