My grandma used to say “If you never put salt on your corn on the cob, then you’ll never miss the delicious salty taste.”  That was her way of letting me know that it’s easier to never start practicing the vices of boozing, smoking and gambling, than it is to quit once you begin.

Wise words indeed, especially when applied to parenting and our desire to appease our children’s cries with easy and immediate solutions but no thought of the long term ramifications.

But you too my dear friends have the gift of a drunken elders experience.

While snuggling with your babies until they fall asleep is a joyous thing, be wary.  These cute little things grow up, learn to snore and end up kicking like mules in their slumber.  Not to mention it’s good for marriage to have an all adult bed.  If the young ones get a taste of sleeping in mom and pops bed, it will be very difficult to get them to fall sleep alone in their own bed.  Like bed begs, they are hard to get rid of.  Be prepared to spend significant time in the weaning process and expect much wailing and gnashing of teeth.  It’s easier never to start!

And then there is the awful music filled with car horns, farting noises and mooing cows.  Don’t do it.  Make them listen to what you like!  And never, I mean never let them lock on to one song.  A song so ingrained I their psyche that they scream and cry unless they hear it over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again.  Keep the ipod on constant shuffle.  Trust me on this one.

The buzz tonight is never worth the hangover tomorrow.

The Baby Grands' II

Jacksonville’s Chuck Nash and Atlanta’s Ben Rowell, collectively known as The Baby Grands, describe their style as “indie music for the whole family,” and I can’t help but agree. Though their simply titled 2010 release The Baby Grands II has a certain Zeppelin-esque ring to its moniker, the band’s sound is an almost universally appealing brand of melodic pop-rock. Channeling the titanic musical hooks of Cheap Trick and Big Star, the pleasant humor of They Might Be Giants and Barenaked Ladies and just a delicate hint of Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers’ southern charm, II is a great big album that will easily appeal to little ears.

Written remotely via iChat brainstorming sessions, The Baby Grands II opens with the rousing “Hey!,” which partners with closing track “Goodbye” to give the album a proper, playful feel throughout. And like the best kindie rock, TBG manage to split the difference between educational anthems and feel-good bangers along the way.

“Where Are You From?” is a proper primer to the subjects of geography and multiculturalism, while the unlikely “Palindrome Express” is a country-fried shuffle about a trucker on his way to South Carolina’s own delightfully named Wassamassaw. Still, while edutainment jams are the bread and butter of children’s music, The Baby Grands are at their best when they are delivering uplifting tracks about imagination (“Dinosaur,” “Robot“) and childhood memories (“Brain Freeze,” “Paper Airplane.”)

On an album of such incomparable quality — so much so that I often find myself queuing it up on road trips even before my kids can request it — stand-out tracks are tough to measure, but a pair invariably stick out in my mind. The key-heavy “Upside Down” is a pop masterpiece with a sing-along chorus that will please the entire family, and it’s only outdone by the pitch-perfect harmonies of “Pounding Heart,” a song about the power of love both romantic and familial.

The Baby Grands II is available from both Amazon MP3 and iTunes, and physical discs can be purchased directly from the band’s official web site. Weighing it at only 10 tracks in length, it may seem a bit on the short side, but its stellar production value, clever songwriting and irresistible pop sensibility will make it an indispensable addition to your kid-friendly collection.

Review materials provided by: Backspace Records

This is the soundtrack to my afternoon. It is purely improvised and mostly by ear.  They are living the life jazz, pounding out the notes between notes and leaving holes where horns should be. Their joy is rock, their passion folk and their chaos pure punk.  They play both kinds of music.

The beat is found in a push and a shove. There are moments of chaos and artistic differences. This is what happened to the Beatles.  This is a masterpiece melting. The beat is a harsh word against taut skin.  The screams are electric. And when the chorus comes around they pick it up again.

All together now.

There are two things that will always happen. One is the thunder of big noise rising, and the other is the echo of it rolling away forever.

The song remains the same, and memories are things best danced upon.

The Bazillions – Rock-n-Roll Recess

We hear a good bit of children’s music here at GeekDad, and we’ve made it our mission to filter out the crap so you don’t have to. Let’s face it – you don’t want to listen to Raffi, and the truth is neither do we. This is why when a solid kid’s album comes across the (wholly virtual) GeekDad desk, we feel the need to share.

Such is the case with The Bazillions, the brainchild of Twin Cities parents/musicians Adam and Kristin Marshall. These educators first began by writing songs for their students, and then the idea morphed into a proper project all its own. Combining the songwriting acumen gleaned from a decade spent in their ongoing indie pop band The Humbugs and a keen ear for music that appeals to kids without alienating adults, the Rock-n-Roll Recess album was born.

From the earliest strains of opening track “Good Morning,” the unpretentious pop-rock of The Bazillions generally forgoes the requisite edutainment angle in favor of primarily uplifting sing-alongs about childhood experiences. Standouts include the whimsical “Super Sonic Rocket Bike,” the oddly poignant “Tommy Got in Trouble” and an almost humorously soulful ode to “Mac-n-Cheese.” Still, the band manages to channel a genuine sweetness in closers “Lookout Man” and “Goodbye.”

Though at times the song structure can become predictable – delicate openings that swell to schoolhouse rockers – The Bazillions do manage to mix things up a bit. Furthermore, it’s really hard to fault a team of children’s musicians who purposefully sidestep easy artistic outs like musical heavy-handedness or face-saving irony. Instead The Bazillions come through as a sincere indie outfit that just happens to write songs for kids.

It’s worth noting that the album-proper only contains 10 tracks with a pair of bonus instrumentals tacked on for good measure. That makes it a bit short even for a kid’s album, but with the obvious care given to the instrumentation, pitch-perfect harmonies and incredibly competent production, it’s more than a fair shake.

Rock-n-Roll Recess is exactly what a children’s music album should be. It doesn’t preach or demean, and it never goes for the low-hanging fruit. If you’d rather share with your kids well-written, beautifully recorded songs about prepositions, careers and imagination that the traditional fare of animals, ABCs and “The Wheels on the Bus,” then The Bazillions are just the band for you.

WIRED: intelligently written, skillfully performed, expertly produced

TIRED: a bit on the short side, your kid will likely ask for his own supersonic rocket bike

Review materials provided by: The Bazillions

I have been a huge fan of Internet radio for a long time. It has introduced me to many bands I’d never have heard of otherwise (whose music I went on to purchase). And network Pandora has taken the Internet radio phenom one step further, adding an excellent social media aspect to their service that helps you customize your own stations. But they also serve up some great genre-specific stations (give me Downtempo any day).

And last month, they started serving up stations for kids!

From their February blog announcement, here what the stations are all about:

• Radio for Kids — Meant for kids 7 and under, this station is fun, educational, and not too baby-ish. For kids who are moving on up from Toddler Radio. Many musical genres are included here, and due to the variety and quality of songs, it’s enjoyable for kids and adults!
• Rockin’ Kids Radio — Meant for kids 7 and under. This one is my personal favorite; an energetic station good for dancing, room-cleaning and high-energy play. This station is a winner for kids (and adults!) who love upbeat music. Rock out, kiddos.
• Toddler Radio — Meant for kids 4 and under, this station is educational and fun! A variety of toddler-friendly themes and music genres are explored. Look for Sesame Street, Disney, & The Wiggles among others.
• Sleepy Time — Meant for kids 5 and under, this station is designed to prepare your tyke for a nap or bedtime (or any time you want to bring the energy level down a notch). It’s full of mellow sounds and sweet lullabies.
• Kid’s Folk Music — Meant for kids 7 and under, this station features quality kid-friendly folk music. It’s a pretty mellow station… a nice quiet-time alternative to Rockin’ Kids.
• Tween Radio — Meant for ages 8 to adult. This station is appropriate for those too old for children’s music but a bit too young for rock ‘n’ roll’s more adult themes. It includes pop music like Miley Cyrus, the High School Musical cast, The Jonas Brothers, and the cast of Glee.

Because Pandora has almost as many ways to get the music to you as they do stations (on your browser, on your phone, through your TV), it’s a wonderful way to satisfy everyone’s musical tastes, and it’s REALLY easy to put on music that’s interesting and appropriate for your little geeks. It’s also FREE (well, FREEmium). Users get 40 hours of listening time per month at standard bit-rates, and with ad support on the web application. If you go Premium, for only $3 a month, you get 192kbps quality, unlimited listening, a stand-alone player (though you can access your account through any capable device – even a Chumby!) and no ads.

These days fathers have to be ready for anything when it comes to their kids, be it a random food-fight in the kitchen or discovering they have a strange fascination with digging holes in the backyard.

But what’s the plan for when they dig through your old music collection and find CDs with the infamous “Parental Advisory Explicit Lyrics” on the cover?

While your first reaction may be to freak out, try not to. As strange as it may sound, this can actually be a positive step in your relationship with your son or daughter. This assumes, of course, that you have decent taste in music.

It’s been reported that the new generation of fathers may share a lot more common interests with their children, particularly in movies and in music. One example of cross-generational media sharing was Beatles albums. Thanks to the video game Rock Band, the music of the Fab Four is being re-introduced to a new group of kids.

But getting to this level of music sharing doesn’t just happen overnight, nor does it occur when your old Public Enemy album is found by your son or daughter.

It happens through open communication and talking honestly with children about music and what it means to you. This allows the both of you to share the experience and for fathers to be there when their child first hears the lyric “fight the powers that be” from Public Enemy’s third album Fear of the Black Planet.

But be sure to explain what the group is angry about and put everything into context. With more music being put on a digital marketplace, the idea of whole albums is slowly fading away.

It may also be a good idea to bring in some history of the hip-hop genre and talk about the roots, its political leanings and how the music genre has progressed.

In fact, music history can be something a father can enjoy with his children. One place to start may be picking up the book Can’t Stop, Won’t Stop by Jeff Chang, which chronicles the early days of hip-hop, and reading it together.

Related posts:

1. A Dad’s Survival Guide to Children’s Music
2. An Outsider’s Perspective: Lessons From Parents Of Children With Special Needs
3. [A FATHER'S VOICE] Can She Love Me Too Much?

Album cover by Walt Disney Records

After a number of false starts and unfortunate delays, September finally saw the release of the original soundtrack album for Disney’s smash animated series Phineas and Ferb. As this is one of only a handful of shows that continually garners nigh-universal acclaim from GeekDads across the board, I was thrilled when our PR contact was able to secure me a copy for review.

Less a typical cartoon than a cleverly self-aware animated sitcom with unabashed musical tendencies, the world of Phineas and Ferb is positively packed with songs that are both fun and engaging for children and adults. Upon the album’s arrival, I was pleased to discover in the track listing a great number of my family’s favorite selections from the show’s first season, as well as a handful from season two standout episodes like “Phineas and Ferb Get Busted” and “Unfair Science Fair Redux (Another Story).”

The album kicks off with a new take on the show’s traditional theme song. “Today Is Gonna Be a Great Day,” a track that properly debuted in the recently aired “Phineas and Ferb’s Quantum Boogaloo,” is an extended take on the theme written by Jaret Reddick of Bowling for Soup but based on Marsh and Povenmire’s core song concept. While it would’ve been nice to have the original intro ditty on the album, this version is both significantly lengthier and much more polished.

From there listeners are treated to the prefab pop of “Gitchee Gitchee Goo” and the island rhythms of “Backyard Beach,” two of the show’s more popular numbers which, while likewise gussied up for the album-proper, make the jump with all the charm fans might expect. However, the soundtrack truly hits its stride with the soulful “Busted,” featuring stunning vocals from Ashley Tisdale (as Candace Flynn) and Olivia Olson (as Vanessa Doofenshmirtz) and an uninterrupted rendition of the James Bond-flavored “Perry the Platypus Theme.” Ridiculous urban dance parody “S.I.M.P. (Squirrels In My Pants)” follows, and is even credited to its in-show source, 2 GuyZ N the Parque.

The album continues to genre hop from 80’s pop (”I’m Lindana and I Wanna Have Fun”) to sticky-sweet 60’s garage (”My Nemesis”) to the song-and-dance stylings of mad scientist extraordinaire Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz (”My Goody Two-Shoes Brother,”), adding another level of eclectic enjoyment to parents already weary of cookie-cutter kids’ music. There is the occasional misstep, for example the inclusion of the comparatively unremarkable “Disco Miniature Golfing Queen” from the episode “Put That Putter Away,” but even that brief diversion is quickly righted with the help of the whimsical “My Undead Mummy and Me.”

Yet somehow, amongst all the good-natured silliness, the album even manages some genuine emotional resonance. Tisdale’s delivery on “I Love You Mom,” is earnest and sweet and – after a brief punk rock interlude in the form of The Bettys’ “Ready For The Bettys” – Danny Jacob’s take on (the admittedly ridiculous premise of) losing one’s nemesis, “When We Didn’t Get Along,” responds in kind. Of course, the genius of the malleable songwriting style of Phineas and Ferb’s musical brain trust makes sure that these numbers manage to fit perfectly even amid the butt-rock of “He’s A Bully” and the AM honky-tonk of “Truck Drivin’ Girl.”

“Do Nothing Day” is another odd choice, but is followed by ever-pleasing blues banger “E.V.I.L. B.O.Y.S.” and the dance rock of Bobby Fabulous’s own anthem “Fabulous.” After charming listeners with the sweetly ludicrous “Little Brothers” – chorus-hook: “Little brothers, cause you’re younger, we’re related, and you’re boys” – the Phineas and Ferb OST treats us to a pair of astronomically-themed numbers, “Let’s Take A Rocket Ship To Space” and “Queen Of Mars,” before winding down with hard-hitting work song “Chains On Me.”

The soundtrack’s closers are easily some of its best, selections that children will easily remember from their favorite episodes and songs that even adults unfamiliar with the series will find humorous and well-composed. The electro-funk of “Phinedroids and Ferbots” and soulful rocker “Ain’t Got Rhythm” lead us to our final destination: fictional hair band Love Händel’s runaway hit “You Snuck Your Way Right into My Heart.” And, folks, if the lyrics “Like a ninja of love repelling down from above / You snuck your way right into my heart” don’t brighten your school day commute, then the problem clearly lies deeper in your carpool’s configuration.

The Phineas and Ferb Soundtrack, like the show that spawned it, is a masterwork of mass appeal. It features what can be best described as kids’ music of the highest order; not only are the songs pitch-perfect pop nuggets, but the overall ebb and flow of the album itself is exquisite. With the average track length somewhere in the neighborhood of a minute and a half and some 26 songs to choose from, it manages to capture the attention of younger listeners without ever boring us grown-ups. I also have to give it up for Walt Disney Records for including the 27th track “F-Games” as an unlockable online bonus for fans that purchase the CD version of the album, but, whether your choice is digital or physical, the soundtrack is well worth the price of admission.

By Dave Banks

Sure, there are a couple songs that didn’t exactly move my fickle brood and a few more that I would’ve loved to hear included – the infectious “Evil Love,” for example, or Love Händel’s ludicrous redux entitled “I Couldn’t Kick My Way Right Into Her Heart” – but this is easily the most entertaining children’s music album in my family’s fairly expansive collection. I highly recommend that you add it to yours, and, to that end, I am pleased to proclaim The Phineas and Ferb Soundtrack as a recipient of the coveted GeekDad stamp of approval.

See, I even attached it to this post with the help of our patented GeekDad Seal-of-Approval-inator. /in joke

WIRED: boasts dozens of delightful and entertaining tunes from the show, competently produced and superbly performed by the original voice cast, CD version features downloadable bonus track available from Disney’s “Unlock More Rock” web site

TIRED: “I’m Lindana and I Wanna Have Fun” is so catchy that you might get caught singing along with it at work and find yourself the laughingstock of your office suite. I’m just sayin’.

Expand Your Horizons While Expanding Theirs: Let’s face it, not many of us can tell our nocturnes from our preludes.  Fatherhood provides the perfect opportunity to learn about things we might have otherwise chosen to remain happily ignorant about.  Take classical music, for example.  Although music by Mozart and Mendelssohn may not be everyone’s cup of tea, listening to it every now and then may help both you and your child become more well-rounded people.  And keep in mind that there are many types of classical music.  If Beethoven and Brahms are too much for you, the collection Autumn Thunder: 40 Years of NFL Films Music is a great way to introduce kids to symphonic music while reliving your dreams of playing halfback for the Chicago Bears.

Related posts:

1. So Your Kid Found Your Public Enemy Album
2. 
   I told my daughter McDonald’s burned down – all over the place – and that we can never go there again.
   Why? Because of the Kidz Bop CD’s they were giving out with the Happy Meals.

   For the last 9 months after her Ballet class I’ve always taken her to the nearby McDonald’s for dinner. Its become our little once a week tradition that we both look forward to.
   Sitting there almost feels like we’re in an 80’s commercial: a 3-year-old dressed in her Ballet clothes with Dad across the table usually instructing her how the Happy Meal toy works.
   But this day was different; she got a Kidz Bop CD and asked to play it in the car.

   That was one long drive home…

   Why has no one given me a proper warning me about this? The CD label should at least have a warning label on it that says, “WARNING: KIDZ SINGING ON THIS CD HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO MUSICAL TALENT WHATSOEVER.”

   I stopped the CD at the Kidz version of “Funkytown”, which by the way is an alteration Lipps, Inc probably never intended, and told my daughter that the CD broke.

   “It’s like a sticker, you can only use it once” and then changed the subject.

   Later, I threw it in the recycling bin hoping they could melt in into something useful like Wii’s, iPhones, flying cars, or better yet Happy Meal Lego toys. Until then, I have a 3-year-old that won’t stop asking when I’m taking her to Funkytown.

   Has anybody else encountered bad kids music? Have you discovered “good” kids music? Or does that even exist…?
   

   
   
   
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