Though of course I had heard the phrase that it takes a village to raise a child before, I never really knew what it meant until my daughter Lily was born on August 4, 2005. When she was born, our family and friends surrounded us, and I could see the village that surrounded us. I was so happy then, and I had no idea what was to come.

Shortly after I returned to work, I could tell that there was something wrong. I was frequently breathless and I had no energy for anything. While plenty of people suggested that I was just tired from having a baby, I knew that there was something else going on. On November 21, 2005, I got the bad news.

I was diagnosed malignant pleural mesothelioma, a cancer caused by my accidental childhood exposure to asbestos.  This news was devastating, but in my panic, I focused on my beloved family, which suddenly felt so new and fragile.

My thoughts were whirling around me, but when I looked at my daughter and my husband, my resolve firmed. I knew that I had to fight this for them, and I knew I had to fight it as hard as I could. Because this cancer is so aggressive, we decided on one of the most drastic mesothelioma treatment options. My husband and I flew to Boston, where, on February 2, I had my lung removed in a procedure known as   extrapleural pneumenectomy. I had 18 days in the hospital to recover from this procedure and then, 2 months later, I started up on the round of chemotherapy and radiation.

During this time, Lily was being lovingly cared for by her grandparents, my parents. They both had fulltime jobs, but their church group came to the rescue. When they couldn’t be with her, Lily was cared for by a wide range of loving people. Some of them were girls that I had once babysat in my hometown! Even if I missed her every day, I was confident that Lily was receiving the best care that she could possibly have, given the circumstances.

The people who came through for us during this dark time truly surprised and humbled me. The people who I would have expected to be around were no where to be found, and other people, who I never would have expected to help in a million years, were right by our sides. Whether we were in Boston or our own home town, we had friends who asked after us, who helped where they could and who kept our spirits strong. It was truly humbling the reaction that we got from our local community.

Cancer taught me many things, and I realized that even on my darkest day, there was always someone there to pull me out. Life has since gotten easier, but I still occasionally look back on that time with wonder and awe. I will never forget the love and support that was so generously given to me at that time.

Close on the heels of the mighty Declan Day, comes Sane Parents Guide #1: Getting Your Home Ready for Baby offering tips and advice on gear, goods and gadgets to ensure that your house is baby-ready.

We are tremendously proud to bring this ebook to you in partnership with BabyBjorn US — the first in a series of six focusing on preparations for parenthood, and caring for infants. A new ebook will be appearing here about every month. Next up: Mobility! From strollers to carriers to carseats, how to get your baby around without driving yourself crazy.

Obviously our first Sane Parents Guide is focused on getting the house geared up for the new arrival. It’s a practical handbook that cuts to the chase: What stuff do you REALLY need to get your house ready for the arrival of your first baby? Not the stuff the Big Box retailer tells you that you need. Not the stuff the glossy magazines tell you need. The real and essential baby gear that you just can’t do without. The stuff that will keep you sane, without adding all the stuff that will drive you crazy. That’s what you’ll find here.

The ebook features chapters on:

-Bedding
-Diapering
-Bathing
-Feeding
-Clothing
-Gadgets and Tech

With included links to over 20 informative and entertaining DadLabs videos!

This multi-media ebook will succinctly inform expecting parents just how much nesting they need to do to be prepared, without going crazy (as many expecting parents do).

All for just $2.99.

SPG #1 is available on Kindle via Amazon, or on just about any other device or platform imaginable via Smashwords.

Thanks to the amazing Erica DeLeon for helping us navigate the technology of creating ebooks — yet another marathon that she has run quickly and efficiently.

So please, have a read, pass it along to your friends that are expecting, and let us know what you think, either by dropping a comment here or by leaving us a review on Amazon or Smashbooks.

Nike+ Coach (free)
Since I rebooted my running career three years ago, I have logged almost every outing with the free Nike+ service. I started with the shoe pod, and have progressed to the Nike+ GPS app on my iPhone ($4.99). 3800 miles later, finally ready for a full marathon, I again turned to Nike+. Using the Coach feature on their website, I was able to access a detailed, customized and completely free training program that I then downloaded to my iCal and took with me everywhere I went. I followed the program religiously, and it helped me meet and surpass my goals. The program ramped my runs, but also included some interesting and challenging interval workouts. The Nike+ system has a reputation for being buggy and even losing data, but it has served me very well over the years. Friend me on the site — I’m DaddyClay there.

Audible Platinum Subscription ($22.95/mo)
When I run, I read, thanks to my subscription to Audible. For my monthly fee, I get two digital downloads of anything in Audible’s extensive catalog (1 per month is cheaper, but I needed 2 to cover marathon training miles). I’ve tried literary fiction, and non-fiction, science fiction, history, historical fiction, but my favorite running companion (and guilty pleasure) — thrillers and Noir-ish police procedurals. I actually awoke some mornings at 5am enthusiastically, anticipating the next few chapters of my book. For a busy dad, this is a twofer — reading and exercise. Music might have helped my split times, but the narrative got me out of bed in the mornings. (You can follow everything I’m reading over at Goodreads or on Facebook.) The audiobooks integrate seamlessly into the Nike+ app.

BRD Braces ($69.99-149.99)
I could not have returned from injuring my knee to train for and complete a marathon without these braces. Truly indispensable for me. These are not phenomenally expensive custom fitted things, yet with the cloth sleeve, it feels that way. I started out with a hinged G36 model, but as my knee got stronger (see TRX below) I was able to graduate to the G18. I ran the full 26.2 in that lighter brace and never felt the slightest discomfort, nor did I have to readjust the brace during my run — pretty amazing given my past experiences with other braces. I also now own their achilles brace, and I love that, too.

New Balance NBx Windblocker Gear ($89 each)
Although the weather in Austin is generally mild, marathon training season is the dead of winter and we get more than our share of cold and rainy mornings that test the resolve of even the most dedicated runner. Nothing that Austin could dish up could even seriously challenge New Balance NBx Windblocker half-zip top and tights. I was insulated from cold, wind and rain. During my training I traveled to colder climes and wondered if winter in Chicago, Detroit and Seattle might be capable of biting through the gear. My runs in these cities were fantastic — scenic and toasty warm. I appreciated the ergonomic fit and stink blocking of the NASA tech fabric that spared me from washing the gear after every run, cutting down on wear and tear. (One note: my 10-year-old daughter is not a fan of the tights. She nearly disowned me when I wore them to drive carpool one morning. Complete tween mortification.)

SpiBelt ($19.95)
I have a Nathan hydration belt with a couple of bottles attached and a pocket big enough to stow the iPhone that I run with on an almost daily basis, but it’s too bulky for race day. For that I love my Spibelt. It’s simple and flexible — capable of just holding a gel and keys, or expanding to hold a phone and more. I really like being able to attach my number to the belt rather than to my shirt (race number “toggles” are an additional $2). It’s a simple thing, but now I consider it an essential. Also an Austin biz — which I love to support.

TRX Suspension Trainer (Pro Kit $199.95)
I am pretty convinced that, for guys my age (45), strength training is as important as road miles in training for longer races. Older runners have to develop core and lower body strength to avoid injury, simple as that. I’ve never been a fan of pumping macho iron in the gym, that’s one of the reasons I was really attracted to the TRX. These simple straps can be used creatively to work every major muscle group and to improve your balance and mobility. I travel with it. With the included door stop you can use it anywhere. I first started working on the TRX with a trainer, but there are tons of free workouts and info on the TRX site. I know a couple of hundred bucks seems pricey for a few yards of nylon webbing and a coupe of handles, but compare to most home gyms, a club membership of a personal trainer, this system is a bargain.

Disclosure: New Balance was a sponsor of Team DadLabs and provided us with a bunch of really amazing, cool gear free of charge.

Think your life does not have much meaning?  Think again.  You are a walking, talking miracle.  Just look at what is going on in just 1 of your 100,000,000,000,000 cells right now.  You and your children are fantastic, wonderful, miraculous creations.  Remember that every time you interact.  It will exponentially elevate your opinion on what it means to be their father.  And to really drive home our point about what a special creation you and your family are, here are 10 miraculous things about your body that you take for granted.

Huddle up with your kids tonight and use the above links to talk about the miracle of their lives.

Think your life does not have much meaning?  Think again.  You are a walking, talking miracle.  Just look at what is going on in just 1 of your 100,000,000,000,000 cells right now.  You and your children are fantastic, wonderful, miraculous creations.  Remember that every time you interact.  It will exponentially elevate your opinion on what it means to be their father.  And to really drive home our point about what a special creation you and your family are, here are 10 miraculous things about your body that you take for granted.

Huddle up with your kids tonight and use the above links to talk about the miracle of their lives.

On the day that Gelo was

As you might have read in the V-Day post, during my last yearly check-up I told my doctor that I thought I might have sleep apnea. Sleep apnea is classified as a disorder that occurs when a person’s breathing is interrupted during sleep. My wife suggested that I speak with my doctor because there have been many nights where she would hear me gasping for breath and wondered if I would start breathing again.

Initial Consult – Primary Physician

My doctor asked me some questions about why I thought I might have sleep apnea, including; after waking up do I still feel tired [yes], do I have trouble falling asleep [no]. I explained that I am often tired, but I have a long commute, I get up at 5:30 to exercise in the morning, and have young children, so I am not sure if I would be refreshed even if I slept well, he laughed. I also explained that my wife hears me gasping for breath while I sleep, that sealed the deal, I got a referral to an Ear Nose & Throat doctor. And some preliminary things to try to do to help the apnea abate – exercise and lose weight, avoid alcohol and sleeping pills, change sleeping positions (avoid sleeping on your back). I told him I was exercising and losing weight at that point I had lost 10 lbs already, I drink in moderation and I sleep on my stomach and my side.

Secondary Consult – Ear Nose & Throat (ENT) Doctor

My ENT and I went through some of the similar questions and then he did a physical exam of my nose and throat and took my height and weight (6’4, 230). He mentioned that the first thing I needed to do is keep working on losing the weight, the more weight you carry, especially on your throat and face, the easier it is for your throat to close as it naturally relaxes while you sleep. He also told me that the structure of my mouth may be a factor in why apnea would present in me, my mouth is somewhat narrow and crowded and the top of my mouth (palate) runs far back. I also told him about what my wife had reported and I got referred to take a sleep study at our local hospital and spoke about the potential next steps that we could try after the results came back from the study, which were the following:

• Continuous Positive Airway Pressure (CPAP) – this is mask that you wear while you sleep. The mask is hooked up to a machine that delivers a continuous flow of air, this helps keep the airways open so that your breathing is not impaired.
• Uvulopalatopharngoplasty (UPPP) – this is a procedure that removes soft tissue on the back of the throat and palate, increasing the width of the airway at the throat opening.

First Sleep Study

I went for my first part of my study at my local hospital, I arrived at 9:30, I was not allowed to have any coffee after noon that day, not a habit for me, but every once in a while I like a nice cup of coffee in the afternoon, I also needed to shower and shave so that the electrodes would be able to stick easily. The technician asked me to change into my sleepwear and then began the process of putting the electrodes on my chest, legs, head, and neck. I needed to lay on my back and try to fall asleep, I will admit I had a hard time, I am a side or stomach sleeper. I felt funny and limited in my motion with the electrodes on, but I was able to fall asleep, eventually. I woke up in the morning and I’ll be honest I felt awful, I thought I had slept for all of about 5 minutes, I was flat out exhausted.

I got the results about 7 days later, the doctor let me know that the minimum number of incidents per hour one needs to be classified with sleep apnea is 5 per hour (a incident is classified as being woken up for 10 or more seconds), my number is 42. Basically I was waking up (not physically) once every 75 seconds. The apnea was not allowing me to get into REM sleep, or true rest. Needless to say I was not surprised, especially after the way I felt the morning after the study. The doctor asked how I wanted to proceed, I asked if he could consult with my ENT, but I wanted to try the CPAP mask first rather than the surgery, and after conferring with my ENT they both agreed. I was scheduled for a follow-up study with the CPAP mask the next week.

Second Sleep Study & Mask Fitting

I went through the routine like I had for the first study, but this time I was fitted with the CPAP mask and lied down to sleep. It was somewhat strange to have something on my face as I tried to fall asleep and the machine makes has a steady hum to it, but after a while I got used to the mask and the rhythmic sound of my breathing started to put me into a sleep. I again was on my back, but this time I didn’t feel nearly as constrained for some reason and I woke up without an alarm at 5:30 am (that never happens) refreshed and ready to get my day going.

The morning after the study, I had another follow-up with my ENT. He commended me on my weight loss, I am down to 220 and encouraged me to stay on the exercise and diet plan, another post for that one, and we spoke about next steps. I would get the formal results of the follow-up study in 7 to 10 days and at that time I would also get the physical machine that creates the airflow to the mask as I sleep. My doctors hoped that after a few more months of diet and exercise and better sleep with the mask, the apnea incidents will be reduced, at that point we will have another follow-up study done to confirm is the apnea has been reduced and we can start to discuss if a surgery can help reduce the number of incidents even further.

In my next post I will give you the update on getting the mask and machine at home, what my wife thought of sleeping next to Darth Vader, and a progress report.

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