5 Financial Planning Tips for Expectant Fathers

–Philip J Reed, on behalf of Westwood College

The excitement of fatherhood is overwhelming enough without worrying about the many expenses associated with having a new baby. Yet, careful financial planning can mean the difference between transitioning smoothly into parenthood or scraping for extra funds to cover unexpected necessities. For practical dads who have yet to land that fancy finance degree, here are five smart money-saving tips to get your assets in order before the big day arrives.

1. Reorganize your budget.

Discuss post-pregnancy life with your spouse long before the due date, especially anticipated decreases in family income. Beyond obvious costs like food and diapers, you may need funding for health insurance, professional childcare and all of life’s little emergencies. Middle income families typically spend about $12,000 in the first year, according to the U.S. Department of Agriculture. You can counter a large portion of this cost by establishing a solid safety net of at least three months’ pay. You should also review employers’ policies for paternity benefits, as many companies now offer paid leave for fathers.

2. Avoid impulse purchases.

Trendy new gadgets and designer baby clothes make great nursery ornaments, but will your blissful newborn even notice? Identify the necessities first, and then make a wish list of potential buys. Before making any purchase, ask yourself whether the item will improve the quality of care. If not, leave it at the store. The same rules apply for personal expenses, too. Don’t splurge on a big screen TV if you’re saving for a top-notch crib. Besides, you may luck out and get a few wish list items from family and friends.

3. Confront old debt.

Struggling to pay off long overdue credit cards and loans takes the focus away from your main priority: the baby. Saving is important, but reducing debt burdens leaves you free to distribute your post-pregnancy income more efficiently. While long-term agreements like mortgages and student loans are difficult to discharge in a short period of time, try to eliminate high credit card balances, medical bills and other unsecured debt.

4. Manage your savings.

Don’t shortchange your retirement fund to save more for future college expenses. Funnel enough money into your 401k to claim any match contributions offered by your employer, says certified financial planner Greg Schick. Schick also recommends putting the remaining funds towards a tax-free Roth IRA. At the same time, you can plan for your child’s education with a savings account, trust, tax-free 529 plan or other educational financing options.

5. Stabilize the future.

In the event of a death or serious disability, thorough preparations can ensure that your child is well cared for. While it may be unpleasant to consider, buying life insurance while you’re young and healthy is far less expensive. Create or update your will with details on how to distribute your estate and who will assume guardianship of your child. Although both tasks can be do-it-yourself projects, contacting an attorney or certified planner with a finance degree can make the process less complicated for busy parents.

Being a good father isn’t about buying the most expensive toys. It’s about giving your new baby a safe, happy introduction into this big world. The more you prepare now, the fewer headaches you’ll have once the baby arrives. And if you make wise spending choices, you might even be able to afford that big screen TV down the road.

American parents report they anticipate holiday budgets similar to last year and most will stretch their spending by shopping early and looking for deals, according to a survey of parents conducted by Upromise by Sallie Mae. When asked to identify their shopping persona, 33 percent of parents indicated they are Slow and Steady with Savvy Savers a close second at 30 percent. Black Friday Bargain Shoppers represent 22 percent, Under the Wires 11 percent, and Big Spenders are a rarity this year at 4 percent.

Many parents prefer practical presents for their children such as clothing (54 percent) and gift certificates (43 percent) or meaningful gifts of money for college (34 percent). In fact, 60 percent said they sometimes worry their kids get too much stuff and would prefer they received gifts that are more meaningful.

“We’re helping to make the season more meaningful for parents of five year olds and freshmen alike by making it easier to save more for college while gift-giving,” said David Coppins, president of Upromise, a service of Sallie Mae, the nation’s No. 1 financial services company specializing in education. “Holiday giving can be a stressful time—as can saving for college—and Upromise.com offers simple solutions to both.”

Last year, Upromise members saved $12 million for college during the holidays by making purchases through Upromise.com. This year, Upromise has made it even easier with extra cash back and discounts at hundreds of major retailers. For the 41 percent of parents who plan to shop with a credit card with rewards, the Upromise World MasterCard, through Dec. 31, 2011, offers card holders the ability to earn 11 percent cash back for college on eligible online purchases through Upromise.com. Information about rates, fees, other costs and benefits associated with the Upromise credit card is available at upromise.com/cardcenter.

Nearly half of parents surveyed plan to spend the same amount as last year (49 percent), followed by 34 percent who plan to reduce spending. Of those cutting back, nearly two-thirds (65 percent) are doing so to reduce debt and cover bills, while 34 percent are building up a rainy day fund, closely followed by saving for college (33 percent) and retirement (25 percent).

Eight out of 10 younger parents, under age 34, plan to save with online deals, coupons and free shipping compared to only six out of 10 parents age 45 or older. Crafty gift givers plan to spread holiday cheer by making their own gifts (21 percent) and nearly 10 percent will re-gift past presents.

The study surveyed 500 Americans with children ages 18 or under in October 2011.

***

Sallie Mae (NYSE: SLM) is the nation’s No. 1 financial services company specializing in education. Serving 25 million customers, Sallie Mae offers innovative savings tools, tuition payment plans and education loans that promote responsible financial habits and reward success. Through its subsidiaries, the company manages or services $238 billion in education loans and administers $35 billion in 529 college savings plans. Members of its Upromise college savings rewards program have earned $625 million to help pay for college. Sallie Mae is also one of the leading financial service providers for universities and governments at all levels, including supporting $8 billion in ecommerce transactions annually at nearly 1,000 campuses. More information is available at www.SallieMae.com. SLM Corporation and its subsidiaries, commonly known as Sallie Mae, are not sponsored by or agencies of the United States of America.

Thanks Brian for filling in while I’m taking care of my wife after surgery.  She is doing well and getting better each day, but she is still in some pain whenever she has to move around.  You use your abdominal muscles for everything!

Three Things Every Child Needs to Hear
DadInAction.com

Nielsen reports the average American watched over 5 hours of TV a day in Q4 2010. 5 hours? More than 20% of our day? That’s not a whole family, that’s per person. Where do people find the time?

I probably don’t watch 5 hours of TV a week. It’s not because I don’t enjoy it, either. I do. I just enjoy other stuff more and I only have so much time to get all of that more-fun stuff done. You can only get so much sugar into that five pound bag. Between working at a Fortune 30 company, shuttling three boys with endless activities, giving my wife more attention than she wants and building a blog, TV just doesn’t make the cut. I try to keep my man card current with a reasonable dose of ESPN, specifically College Football on Saturday. Even that has become a challenge, though. Saturdays are the best family days. Even when I do try to catch an evening show, it rarely happens. Last night for instance, I tried to watch a movie with the kids. It was a good movie, too, and action packed. No dice. Dad was sleeping 15 minutes in. I made it through the previews at least. That’s not always been the case. Chalk it up as a victory.

One show we do watch regularly is the Biggest Loser. Have you seen this show? For the longest time, I thought the title was cruel. When I saw the previews of the seriously overweight contestants next to the Biggest Loser title screen, I thought it was another twisted reality show preying on its victims. Wrong. I was way off base. Instead, the Biggest Loser is truly inspiring. it gives my wife and I a wealth of teachable moments. The kids love it, too, which leaves the door wide open for us to address them.

The 60 minute show provides a window into very real physical and emotional struggles in peoples’ lives. Lots of people (68% of US population according to CDC) are overweight for a variety of reasons. Pizza and Diet Coke are high on the list. For people to be that unhealthy, though, there tends to be something else going on. The Biggest Loser helps people overcome those issues, build self-esteem and learn they can overcome. Their past need not control them nor define them. Quite the opposite is true. Put in proper perspective, our past can be a source of strength.

The Biggest Loser has a typical reality show format, with character development followed by elimination challenge, closing with “the vote.” One episode in particular stood out last month. After losing a significant amount of weight, both since the beginning of the show and for the current week, the contestant broke broke down and cried. He said “I just want my parents to be proud of me.” Wow. Even in adulthood, children still want to know their parents are proud of them. We paused the show to chat.

Children, young and old, want to hear three things from their parents.

I love you.

There are no words more powerful in the English language. Kids need to know we love them unconditionally. They need to fully understand there is nothing we can do to make us love them more. Perhaps more important, there is also nothing they can do to make us love them less. Our children can’t earn our love and they can’t screw it up. They need the security to know our love for them is an always and forever thing.

I’m proud of you.

Children want to know we’re proud of them. Pride, even pride in our children, is different from love. Kids fundamentally need to know that we are pleased, that we appreciate them for who they are. We can, and should be, proud of their accomplishments. Even more though, we need to express our appreciation for them as a person, without limitation. Saving our praise solely for achievements will leave kids believing they have to achieve our acceptance. Expressing your pride for their identify validates them in a way only their parents can. I still beam with pride when my mom or my wife says I’m proud of you.

You’re good at…

Everyone excels at something. Find it. Share it. In our society, we’re achievement driven, accomplishment focused. We reward the exceptional, always looking for flaws to improve. The flaws are there, for sure. So are the things to celebrate. Apparently, a large % of the US population is great at watching TV and focusing intently for long periods of time. If that’s all you’ve got, congratulate their ability to focus (then help them find something more constructive). I can still remember being at a Boy Scout camp, being a better shot with the .22 Caliber rifle than my Dad. Was it true? Who knows. I know that’s always been a proud moment for me and helped build my confidence.

When we stopped the show, we walked the boys through each point as we’ve done many times. We love them and always will. We’re proud of them and there is nothing they can do to earn that. They’re good at many things. Our oldest, quite the perfectionist, cried. In his own mind, nothing he does is ever good enough. On his last report card, he got 4 100s and 2 99s and he still wants to improve.

All children need to hear these things from their parents. Turn off the TV and tell them.

DadInAction is the father of three young boys, ages 10, 8 and 4, and has been married to his amazing wife for 12 years. He recently launched his own blog at DadInAction.com to chronicle the boys’ adventures.

Comedians and humour columnists get a lot of mileage out of the stereotype that traveling with kids is a nightmare. While ill-conceived trips can lead to the sorts of stories that end up on Comedy Central, proper planning and realistic expectations can help families build lifelong memories of exploring the world together.

1) Stretch Your Legs

The first step to travelling with children is to set realistic expectations. Children, particularly younger children, need more rest stops than adults. They need to run off energy, use the bathroom, and break the routine of miles on the road. Allowing time for these pit stops reduces stress for everybody. Parents can make plans to enjoy these breaks. A small cooler with snacks and drinks can turn a brief rest stop into a pleasant picnic.

2) Don’t Break Routine

Children also tend to become stressed out when their routines are disrupted. Taking time to discuss the upcoming trip with them helps them to prepare by understanding what to expect. Allowing them to make some decisions about the trip eases anxiety and helps each child to know that his or her wishes and needs are being taken into consideration.

3) Travel Crafts

Families can look at travel brochures and web sites together before the trip. The adults or older children can help the youngsters print or cut out pictures of things they are particularly eager to see, then put them into small notebooks. During the trip, the children can mark off each item as they see it, and older family members can help them to add a few sentences about the experience.

Boredom is often a big bugaboo during journeys. Planning for time spent strapped into the car, waiting in airports, or during flights makes life easier for everybody. Guiding the child in selecting toys, games, and books prior to the trip not only offsets the boredom, but also helps the child to invest in the project of staying quietly occupied during cooped-up times. Having a few surprises on hand, such as coveted treats or new toys, games, and books will provide additional controlled stimulation to beat travel ennui.

4) Baby Navigators

Giving children a chance to be involved in navigation not only keeps them occupied, but also provides an educational experience. Even preschoolers can be given note cards with exit numbers written on them and instructed to let Mom or Dad know when they spot each one. Older kids can help to navigate with a map, atlas, or GPS. Traditional road trip games such as I Spy or Travel Bingo can engage the children in their surroundings and make the miles fly by faster.

5) Write About the Trip…During the Trip

Travel journals are another way to turn a family trip into a memorable experience. During breaks, families can take time to discuss what they’ve seen so far and to jot down interesting observations. Digital cameras make it easier than ever to photograph interesting minutia, such as a friendly chipmunk at a scenic overlook or a classic car cruising along in the next lane, and offer the anticipation of printing the pictures out and adding them to the journal when the trip is over.

6) Travel Safety

Children can be difficult to keep track of on trips. Enticing things often lure them away from the family group. If the entire family dresses in identical, brightly-colored t-shirts, members can more easily spot each other in a crowd. For winter trips, bright scarves or stocking caps can serve the same purpose. Helping to pick out these distinctive items also helps children to feel totally invested.

7) When All Else Fails…Laugh!

A sense of humor helps. Even unpleasant events such as traffic jams, breakdowns, illnesses and injuries need not ruin a trip. Anything short of a tragedy can be funny in retrospect. A family that works on having a funny story that is ready to tell after the trip will find problem less distressing. Even a comedian’s dream of a trip can still be fun, if parents help the kids to adapt and look for the best.

This is a guest post from Kathleen Hubert, a blogger who writes on a variety of different topics, including traveling through Hawaii. Find out more at Lahaina Hotels.com.

Somehow, through my strange and twisted logic, this leads me to The Real Matt Daddy, who is not Chinese (I honestly can’t speak to his math skills or his prodigious talents on the violin).

Although he and I have never met in person, I can with 100% accuracy say, he’s stark raving mad.  And how can I be so sure?  Let’s just say, “I know the type.”  For our dear friend Mr. Matt is a stay-at-home dad, which by definition makes you insane. The insanity doesn’t happen immediately, it creeps up on you and before you know it, it’s too late.

Like many of us, Matt used to have a nice career, working long hours and he looked very respectable as he headed out the door each day.

But after just nearly a year at home with his baby, he suddenly looks like this:

But the real giveaway to his descent into madness came over a seemingly normal Twitter exchange. Well, it would seem normal to most, but for anyone who has small children or who used to have small children, the clues were everywhere.

He briefly mentioned he was shopping for something that would be a “diamond in the rough.” I thought, normal expression, but also a reference to Disney’s Aladdin. I responded and he immediately shot back “It’s a whole new world.” Another common expression, and yet, another Disney song. But what was scary was that this was Twitter, so he was responding without even thinking about it. He wasn’t sitting around trying to be clever; this is just how the poor guy’s brain is wired right now.

I asked if he knew he was quoting Disney, and he seemed to do a virtual shrug and tweeted, “I’m just feeling the love tonight.” This was getting ridiculous.

Finally, I said, “You are either insane, or a new father, or both, but you are throwing Disney out at an astonishing rate of speed, and it is starting to freak me out.”

And of course, his last rebuttal came flying back at me as if I were the crazy one, “Hakuna Matata.”

So when The Real Matt Daddy asked for a little help while his wife had surgery. I had to say yes.  If anyone could use some down time it’s this Disney nutcase daddy.

The ButterBottom Blog is Richard E. Monroe’s attempt to capture the humor, stress and general absurdities of life as a stay-at-home dad. After years of working on Wall St. and babysitting big egos, the family moved to sunny central Virginia and he now babysits smaller people with even bigger egos.

This is an exciting time to be a father. Fathers are now, more than ever, questioning what it means to be a dad and shedding old models in the process. Over the past ten years, for example, the number of stay-at-home dads has tripled. One in five fathers acts as their child’s primary caretaker. Two million pre-schoolers’ fathers care for them more than any other child-care provider while their mothers work.

With this shifting landscape comes great opportunity. Dads are free to define fatherhood on their own terms. We are taking on more parenting responsibilities and assuming duties that were previously designated for mothers only. In my father’s time, it was revolutionary to change a diaper. Nowadays, other than birthing and breastfeeding, everything is fair game.

Paradigm shifts often cause confusion, and fatherhood is no exception. It’s easier to tweak someone else’s work than to start with a blank canvass. We know we don’t want to parent the same way our fathers did, but we’re not quite sure what it’s supposed to look like for us. This uncertainty, as uncomfortable as it might be on a personal level, is also fertile ground for transformation. The blank canvass provides a great opportunity to find out who we are and paint our own picture of fatherhood with authenticity and integrity. In order to do that, though, we have to find out who we really are.

Lome Aseron is a father of two amazing sons and husband to a magnificent wife. He tries,
hopefully with some success, to capture the beauty and joy of being a dad. Follow Lome as he
navigates the spiritual journey of fatherhood at NewDadforLife.com and LIFEclectic.com. You can
follow him on Twitter: @lomeaseron.

STATLER & WALDORF’S

GUIDE TO GOING TO THE MOVIES

With Disney’s “The Muppets” coming out in theaters soon, Statler and Waldorf offer unsolicited advice and a whole lot of laughs about what to watch for at the theater.

STATLER:    When going to see a movie starring the Muppets, always get a good seat…

WALDORF:   …one that doesn’t face the screen!

WALDORF:   If you arrive late for your movie, stick around…

STATLER:    …they’ll be releasing a sequel soon!

STATLER:    Never get a bucket of popcorn that’s larger than your car.

WALDORF:   Don’t talk on your cell phone during the movie….

STATLER:    …it might wake us up!

WALDORF:   If you have to explain everything in the movie to the person you’re sitting next

to…

STATLER:    …welcome to my world.

WALDORF:   Sometimes the movie is not out of focus—you are.

STATLER:    Don’t talk back to the movie…

WALDORF:   …that’s our job!

WALDORF:   If you don’t have anything nice to say about a movie…

STATLER:    …sit next to us!

STATLER:    Spoiler Alert—The Muppets are in Disney’s “The Muppets.”

WALDORF:   Don’t say you haven’t been warned.

To see Statler and Waldorf in the balcony (where they belong), check out http://disney.go.com/muppets/portfolio/homepage.html.

As reality TV has become staple entertainment for young people and adults alike, tween and teen girls who regularly view reality TV accept and expect a higher level of drama, aggression, and bullying in their own lives, and measure their worth primarily by their physical appearance, according to Real to Me: Girls and Reality TV, a national survey released today by the Girl Scout Research Institute.

The study found that the vast majority of girls think reality shows “often pit girls against each other to make the shows more exciting” (86 percent). When comparing the propensity for relational aggression between viewers and non-viewers of reality TV, 78 percent vs. 54 percent state that “gossiping is a normal part of a relationship between girls.”

Regarding romantic relationships, reality TV viewers are more likely than non-viewers to say “girls often have to compete for a guy’s attention” (74 percent vs. 63 percent), and are happier when they are dating someone or have a boyfriend/significant other (49 percent vs. 28 percent).

“Girls today are bombarded with media – reality TV and otherwise – that more frequently portrays girls and women in competition with one another rather than in support or collaboration.  This perpetuates a ‘mean-girl’ stereotype and normalizes this behavior among girls,” states Andrea Bastiani Archibald, Ph.D. Developmental Psychologist, Girl Scouts of the USA. “We don’t want girls to avoid reality TV, but want them, along with their parents, to know what they are getting into when they watch it.  Our national leadership program equips girls with the skills to decipher media fact from fiction and make healthy decisions for their own lives-separate from their sources of entertainment.”

Girls who view reality TV regularly are also more focused on the value of physical appearance. 72 percent say they spend a lot of time on their appearance vs. 42 percent of non-viewers, while more than a third (38 percent) think that a girl’s value is based on how she looks.

At the same time, girls surveyed who regularly view reality TV are more self-assured than non-viewers when it comes to an overwhelming majority of personal characteristics, with the majority considering themselves mature, a good influence, smart, funny, and outgoing. They are more likely than non-viewers to both aspire to leadership (46 percent vs. 27 percent) and to think they are currently seen as a leader (75 percent vs. 63 percent). In addition, they are more likely to see themselves as role models for other girls (75 percent vs. 61 percent).

The study revealed that reality TV has many upsides as well. 68 percent of girls agree that reality shows “make me think I can achieve anything in life” and 48 percent that they “help me realize there are people out there like me.” Seventy-five percent of girls say that reality TV depicts people with different backgrounds and beliefs.

“We also want to emphasize the many positive benefits to reality TV, including its role as a learning and motivational tool,” states Kimberlee Salmond, Senior Researcher, Girl Scout Research Institute. “For example, we know that many girls receive inspiration and comfort from reality TV and that 62 percent of girls say that these types of shows have raised their awareness of social issues and causes.”

Since its founding in 2000, the Girl Scout Research Institute has become an internationally recognized center for research and public policy information on the development and well-being of girls.  Not just Girl Scouts, but all girls.

About Girl Scouts

Founded in 1912, Girl Scouts of the USA is the preeminent leadership development organization for girls with 3.2 million girl and adult members worldwide. Girl Scouts is the leading authority on girls’ healthy development, and builds girls of courage, confidence, and character, who make the world a better place. The organization serves girls from every corner of the United States and its territories. Girl Scouts of the USA also serves American girls and their classmates attending American or international schools overseas in 90 countries. For more information on how to join, volunteer, reconnect, or donate to Girl Scouts, call (800) GSUSA 4 U or visit www.girlscouts.org