Though of course I had heard the phrase that it takes a village to raise a child before, I never really knew what it meant until my daughter Lily was born on August 4, 2005. When she was born, our family and friends surrounded us, and I could see the village that surrounded us. I was so happy then, and I had no idea what was to come.

Shortly after I returned to work, I could tell that there was something wrong. I was frequently breathless and I had no energy for anything. While plenty of people suggested that I was just tired from having a baby, I knew that there was something else going on. On November 21, 2005, I got the bad news.

I was diagnosed malignant pleural mesothelioma, a cancer caused by my accidental childhood exposure to asbestos.  This news was devastating, but in my panic, I focused on my beloved family, which suddenly felt so new and fragile.

My thoughts were whirling around me, but when I looked at my daughter and my husband, my resolve firmed. I knew that I had to fight this for them, and I knew I had to fight it as hard as I could. Because this cancer is so aggressive, we decided on one of the most drastic mesothelioma treatment options. My husband and I flew to Boston, where, on February 2, I had my lung removed in a procedure known as   extrapleural pneumenectomy. I had 18 days in the hospital to recover from this procedure and then, 2 months later, I started up on the round of chemotherapy and radiation.

During this time, Lily was being lovingly cared for by her grandparents, my parents. They both had fulltime jobs, but their church group came to the rescue. When they couldn’t be with her, Lily was cared for by a wide range of loving people. Some of them were girls that I had once babysat in my hometown! Even if I missed her every day, I was confident that Lily was receiving the best care that she could possibly have, given the circumstances.

The people who came through for us during this dark time truly surprised and humbled me. The people who I would have expected to be around were no where to be found, and other people, who I never would have expected to help in a million years, were right by our sides. Whether we were in Boston or our own home town, we had friends who asked after us, who helped where they could and who kept our spirits strong. It was truly humbling the reaction that we got from our local community.

Cancer taught me many things, and I realized that even on my darkest day, there was always someone there to pull me out. Life has since gotten easier, but I still occasionally look back on that time with wonder and awe. I will never forget the love and support that was so generously given to me at that time.

Stacy DeBroff is CEO of MomCentral.  She’s also a highly influential blogger and author of The Mom Book.  With more families driving for spring/summer travel than ever before thanks to rising airline costs and a stagnant economy, how can parents drive long distances with kids in tow, while staying sane in the process?  National mom expert Stacy DeBroff offers up how to deal with sullen teens, non-stop backseat fighting, carsick toddlers, kids battling colds, more stops along the way than you had planned, DVD demands, and cries of  “ARE WE THERE YET!”.

Family car trips don’t have to send you scurrying for painkillers in order to make it across a few state lines:

1. Busting Up Back-Seat Fights: Don’t wait until the squabbling starts in the back seat – prevent it before it takes on a life of its own. Place soft luggage or a diaper bag between kids to create boundaries:

Ø  Smaller luggage works in between kids less prone to in-car duels and can double as a surface for playing cards and games.

Ø  Taller luggage creates “a wall divider” that helps you avoid hearing choruses of “He keeps looking at me!”

Ø  Likewise, bring along individual snack packs to avoid the tug-of-war that comes with shared snacks.

2. Don’t Leave Behind Mission-Critical Items: You don’t want to be entering the Turnpike when you realize you’ve left your tween’s iPod on the kitchen table or forgotten your toddler’s favorite stuffed animal, your cell phone, or soft pillows to help the kids snooze away the miles. And for those inevitable in-car messes, don’t forget to bring along multiple trash bags, as well as items such as Wet Ones to clean kids’ hands on the go. Make sure to put post-it notes on your car’s steering wheel for key reminders!

3. Let Us Entertain You! Ensure in-car sanity by packing up a diverse array of entertainment items. A recent Mom Central survey showed that 48% of families bring along a DVD player or video for the car, and 40% travel with a Nintendo DS. While DVDs and electronic games work wonders, make sure to bring other “all-car” activities. Get a couple of audio books that appeal to the whole family such as Harry Potter or Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. And don’t forget classics like the license plate game, making up stories about the people you pass, and finding all the alphabet letters in sequence based on road signs you pass (x and z can be a challenge)! Visit a small neighborhood educational toy store for some new, quiet car-related games.

4. Time to Hand Over Your Smartphone or iPad: Kids love the games and apps, especially on the iPhone and the iPad, and you can preload your phone with some cool ones from the app store before you go. New holders enable you to attach an iPad to the headrest of a front seat. In fact, 39% of parents plug kids into their Smartphones while on the go, and 26% of parents bring along an iPad or other tablet device.

5. Tune Kids in to the Scenery: Nothing proves more frustrating than a kid in an electronic game haze while the Rockies pass by unnoticed out the car window. Schedule some technology downtime so kids can observe their surroundings, spot animals along the way, or discover bridges and cool rock formations.

How young is too young to start talking to my child about dating?

A new study conducted with more 1,400 7^th-graders showed that, in this robust sample, an alarmingly high number of pre-teens are not only dating, but experiencing abusive relationships and sexual harassment.

More than 75 percent reported they had been in dating relationships. Nearly one in six had experienced physical dating violence and more than half had experienced sexual harassment.

Until now, there has been very little research on this age group and, though not nationally representative, this study is one of the few and largest in-depth studies conducted on this topic to date. The implications of these findings for parents are serious and reinforce that waiting until high school to talk about dating is too late. Middle school provides a critical window of opportunity to teach children about healthy relationships and prevent dating violence before it starts.

What can parents do? Take advantage of this window of time. Educate yourself on the warning signs of teen dating abuse and learn how to start conversations with pre-teens about what behaviors should never be tolerated in a dating relationship.

Be on the watch for the subtle signs of an abusive relationship, and notice if your pre-teen:

• Receives excessive text messaging, phone calling, emailing or visiting with boyfriend or girlfriend.
• Stops hanging out with friends or participating in family activities.
• Starts having declining grades or missing school.
• Seems afraid to disagree with his or her boyfriend or girlfriend; always does what partner wants
• ·         Has injuries he/she tries to cover up or can’t explain

If any of the above are correct, your child may be in an unhealthy relationship.

There was good news from the study as well. Nearly three-quarters of the students in the sample said they sometimes or often talk to their parents about dating and relationships. Keeping this communication open and active is key to ensuring your pre-teen or teen sets healthy boundaries in relationships.

Here are some tips:

• Talk to your children about peer pressure both online and off, before they are even in a relationship.
• Discuss what it means to be a good friend, laying a foundation for healthy romantic relationships later in life.
• Encourage and model healthy and safe relationships.
• Use popular culture and current events to make teachable moments with your children. Ask them what they think about relationship behaviors that they see, and dialogue about what’s appropriate and what’s not.
• ·         Discuss what a healthy relationship looks like, feels like, and sounds like.

These findings come from an evaluation of the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation’s national program, Start Strong: Building Healthy Teen Relationships, the largest initiative ever funded to prevent dating abuse among 11-14 year olds in 11 different communities across the U.S. To learn more about how to start conversations with your child, and increase your knowledge about teen dating abuse visit www.startstrongparents.org, for free parent resources available in English and Spanish.

Today’s post comes from Adam at Hanging With Dad.  Adam is an at-home dad to a little man named Isaac.  Thanks for the warning on your shirt, Isaac. I’ll be sure to do just that.  Enjoy this post, written as a prequel to my post a few weeks ago entitled “5 Signs That The Terrible Twos Have Arrived”.

A few weeks ago, Matt posted 5 Signs That the Terrible Twos Have Arrived. After reading them, I’m glad to say that Isaac doesn’t fit all of the requirements. Only partially #1 (The word NO becomes the only word she knows) and #4 (You begin to purchase food for its bargaining power).

What I HAVE noticed, however, is that Isaac is giving me some hints that he’s almost there.  So ladies and gentlemen, here are the three clues that your toddler is gearing up for the terrible twos.

1) They learn the word “mine”.Erin and I don’t know where he learned the word, as we don’t really use it that often, but we do tell Isaac that he can’t have things because “that’s Dada’s” or “that’s Mama’s” when he tries to grab the iPod or laptop or anything that’s too dangerous/expensive for his hands.

 2) They start letting you work while they’re awake.

It used to be that if I even sat down in my office chair Isaac would be right next to my side DEMANDING to be up in my lap and slamming his hands on the keyboard. Now, however, he has decided that me sitting in my chair is not, after all, the most interesting thing in the world. So now, when I need, I can actually work on my freelance jobs for a little bit while he plays in the play room.


He hasn’t graduated to full-on ignoring me, however. He still comes and checks up on me, wanting up on my lap, every 5-10 minutes, but I get some work in.





3) They start to tell you what to do.

Apparently my child does not like trash. To the point where if I leave his night time diaper on the floor because he’s in a rush and I don’t have time to dump it, he’ll go back later, point at it and say my name until I deal with it.


It used to not bother him at all, in fact he never really noticed it. Now, however, trash of any sort definitely bothers him. He’ll pick it up and take it to the trash can himself.

For now, I’ll take the warning signs of the Terrible Twos over the 5 signs that Matt told me about. Sure Isaac is becoming my boss, but pretty soon he’s REALLY going to be my boss (and know it even more).


What’s your kid doing to get you ready for the Terrible Twos?

6 Easy DIY Spring Organization Projects

Our home is our oasis from life’s daily demands. Nothing feels better than after coming home after a long day, slip into your pajamas and have a relaxing evening. If your home is full of clutter relaxing at home can be nearly impossible.  This spring start tackling those organizational projects you’ve been putting off.

Below are suggestions and ideas that will help put your home on the right track so your home can be clean and clutter free and you can impress your partner with your newfound organizational talents.

Via

1. Kitchen Cupboards – Inventory the items in the cupboards. Think about their location in your kitchen and group items that are similar together. Tip: pots/pans and plates are used when cooking so consider moving them closer to the stove. Ask yourself questions like do you need both a steamer and a rice maker? How many sets of dishes do you need?  Donate, sell or throw out any items you no longer need.
2. Bedroom Furniture – Look around at the size of your bedroom. Having too many items (dressers, tables) can make the room feel small and jam packed  Gain some space by replacing your dresser with a highboy (a tall chest of drawers on legs).  A highboy holds the same number of items but has a smaller footprint. You can pick up storage containers for underneath the bed from your local hardware store. They are great for storing your seasonal clothes, shoes and other items.
   
3. Bedroom Closets – The best advice is to clean them out. Go through your clothes and donate any items that no longer fits; you haven’t worn in over a year and dated clothing. After that’s done group your clothing by type: shirts, sweaters, ties, jeans, khakis so you’ll always know what’s in your closet.
   
4. Hall Closets – Group linens according to their use: bedroom, bathroom, dining table and identify their location on the shelves (you can also make labels so everyone in the family knows what goes where).  To prevent bed linens from going missing try this trick – tuck the sheets inside one of the pillow cases that way when the beds need to be changed (or when company comes) you have everything you need together. For smaller items like tea towels or face cloths put them in baskets so they don’t go missing or fall off the shelf. Any extra toiletries can be stored in baskets so you’ll always know what you have lots of or what you need to pick up.
   
5. Installing Shelving:   Add shelving to your empty wall(s) to display family photos, collectables that can take up valuable table space. If you have a stellar movie collection pick up some inexpensive shelving at your local home repair store and organize and display your prized collection.  Take back the garage and add shelves to store tools, Christmas decorations, rakes, bicycles, etc.
6. Medicine Cabinet – Would it surprise you that medicine shouldn’t be kept in the bathroom? Most medications need to be kept in a cold dry place. Only place items like your cabinet, toothbrush, toothpaste, razor etc. in your “medicine cabinet.” Store your medication in a lock box if you have young children (that way they can’t touch or accidently take your medication)

Jeremy Godfrey is a writer and do it yourself enthusiast. When he’s not working here he’s home tackling his next home improvement project.

6 Easy DIY Spring Organization Projects

Our home is our oasis from life’s daily demands. Nothing feels better than after coming home after a long day, slip into your pajamas and have a relaxing evening. If your home is full of clutter relaxing at home can be nearly impossible.  This spring start tackling those organizational projects you’ve been putting off.

Below are suggestions and ideas that will help put your home on the right track so your home can be clean and clutter free and you can impress your partner with your newfound organizational talents.

Via

1. Kitchen Cupboards – Inventory the items in the cupboards. Think about their location in your kitchen and group items that are similar together. Tip: pots/pans and plates are used when cooking so consider moving them closer to the stove. Ask yourself questions like do you need both a steamer and a rice maker? How many sets of dishes do you need?  Donate, sell or throw out any items you no longer need.
2. Bedroom Furniture – Look around at the size of your bedroom. Having too many items (dressers, tables) can make the room feel small and jam packed  Gain some space by replacing your dresser with a highboy (a tall chest of drawers on legs).  A highboy holds the same number of items but has a smaller footprint. You can pick up storage containers for underneath the bed from your local hardware store. They are great for storing your seasonal clothes, shoes and other items.
   
3. Bedroom Closets – The best advice is to clean them out. Go through your clothes and donate any items that no longer fits; you haven’t worn in over a year and dated clothing. After that’s done group your clothing by type: shirts, sweaters, ties, jeans, khakis so you’ll always know what’s in your closet.
   
4. Hall Closets – Group linens according to their use: bedroom, bathroom, dining table and identify their location on the shelves (you can also make labels so everyone in the family knows what goes where).  To prevent bed linens from going missing try this trick – tuck the sheets inside one of the pillow cases that way when the beds need to be changed (or when company comes) you have everything you need together. For smaller items like tea towels or face cloths put them in baskets so they don’t go missing or fall off the shelf. Any extra toiletries can be stored in baskets so you’ll always know what you have lots of or what you need to pick up.
   
5. Installing Shelving:   Add shelving to your empty wall(s) to display family photos, collectables that can take up valuable table space. If you have a stellar movie collection pick up some inexpensive shelving at your local home repair store and organize and display your prized collection.  Take back the garage and add shelves to store tools, Christmas decorations, rakes, bicycles, etc.
6. Medicine Cabinet – Would it surprise you that medicine shouldn’t be kept in the bathroom? Most medications need to be kept in a cold dry place. Only place items like your cabinet, toothbrush, toothpaste, razor etc. in your “medicine cabinet.” Store your medication in a lock box if you have young children (that way they can’t touch or accidently take your medication)

Jeremy Godfrey is a writer and do it yourself enthusiast. When he’s not working here he’s home tackling his next home improvement project.