Happy birthday gorgeous.

Lately I’ve started feeling a bit old. This August I’ll be 28. I tell you this for two reasons: 1) I know being in my late twenties doesn’t make me old, but more importantly 2) it gives you time to save up for a present. I suppose it’s not that ...

I have a great deal of respect for doctors, apart from those who present Embarrassing Bodies: Dawn Harper, Pixie McKenna, Christian Jessen, and Christian Jessen’s eyebrows. I have even more respect for surgeons, who require pin-point accuracy, patience and meticulous care every day. One false move, one sneeze, and an artery ...

Dear reader, You look incredible today. Has anyone ever told you that? And you smell great, really lovely. What do you mean, it’s your natural scent? Wow. Look at your bum, it looks amazing in those jeans. I could just reach out and pinch it. And you, lady. You look ...

In my line of work (construction) I spend a bit of time looking at risk assessments. I’ve also seen all of the Final Destination movies. And, more than I’d care to admit, I read the Daily Mail website. These three things have created some kind of perfect storm in my head ...

Today has been one of Those Days with the kids, the kind of day where even when they’re tucked up in bed you can’t relax, like you’ve got your finger in the plug socket and 240 volts are humming through your muscles. And I blame Easter. Over the past couple ...

There are a number of things you can do to make a child cry. Steal their toys, perhaps. Give them a wallop around the head. Leave them in the snow. But, if I ever want to make my eldest son (Isaac, 4) cry, all I need to do is sing. ...

In homage to the Internet’s newest troll (in every sense of the word), Samantha Brick. –  Hi, gorgeous. I’m Barry. I know. I can see you staring at me. It’s my handsomeness, isn’t it? I get that all the time. It’s OK to stare. Go on, take a good long ...

There are a number of television adverts which make my bum itch. Oral-B, for example, with its wonky camera angles, sob stories about people with bad teeth and gushy testimonies from dentists whose pockets are bulging with cash from Oral-B in exchange for said review. Barclays bank adverts also get ...

It’s a discussion that happens during every pregnancy. No, not the ‘is it mine’ one; I’m 95% sure that our daughter – due in August – is half me (not the bottom half, I hope). It’s the discussion about names. The discussion can last for minutes, days, weeks, or months; ...