Disclosure: The Video above was sponsored by Motorola and the Droid Razr.

Jeff Sass is the proud dad of ZEO (Zach, 23, Ethan, 21 and Olivia, 20).  He is also a seasoned entertainment and technology exec and active social media enthusiast.  You can see more of Jeff’s writing at Sassholes! and Social Networking Rehab and you can listen to Jeff on the Cast of Dads and Wunderkind! podcasts.

The Sass Kids

(This episode of Cast of Dads is sponsored by the new Motorola Droid RAZR.  Want to win one? Listen to the show and find out how!)

Everyone at the Cast of Dads and Dadomatic hopes you and your families enjoyed a great Mother’s Day this past weekend!  Four of the five Cast of Dads got together to recap our own family adventures.  Speaking of adventures, Max was not able to join us for the show as he and his dad and his son were at sea, on a sailing trip from Ft. Lauderdale to New York!  We look forward to hearing about his trip on the next episode of the show.

You can CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO CAST OF DADS EPISODE 51.

Topics discussed in this episode include:

• Max is at sea
• Boat side BBQ with Jeff & Max
• Enter to win a new Motorola DROID RAZR
• Rotary dialing apps – Android & iPhone versions
• Retro phone handsets
• How we celebrated Mother’s Day
• Watching home movies
• C.C. goes to National Train Day (photos)
• Chapman kids first time in NYC
• Jeff’s son graduates from Berklee School of Music
• Off the grid time
  

  Captain Max & Son

• Yearly activity traditions with our kids
• Disney or Club Med sure would make great sponsors
• Virgin Galactic
• Deliverance
• Scuba Diving
• By land, sea, train, plane or spaceship

If you have been enjoying The Cast of Dads please tell your friends about the show and have them subscribe to either our direct feed or via iTunes.  Also, please leave us a review in iTunes!

Cast of Dads is a group of podcasting and blogging dads who gather to gab about fatherhood. The cast of dads includes C.C. Chapman, Jeffrey Sass, Max Kalehoff, Michael Sheehan, and Brad Powell, who collectively represent 13 kids from the youngest of babies to full grown adults. Each of them brings a unique perspective to being a father.

Jeff Sass is the proud dad of ZEO (Zach, 23, Ethan, 21 and Olivia, 20).  He is also a seasoned entertainment and technology exec and active social media enthusiast.  You can see more of Jeff’s writing at Sassholes! and Social Networking Rehab and you can listen to Jeff on the Cast of Dads and Wunderkind! podcasts.

In fact, most of the things that I do daily I do on autopilot. When I brush my teeth, wash the dishes, and bring my fork to my mouth, I don’t actively think about those actions. I’m on autopilot. Of course, the reason that I can do those things without thinking about them is because I’ve consciously repeated them. My conscious mind has trained my unconscious mind.

That is a wonderfully good thing. It means that I can have meaningful conversation at dinner because I don’t have to focus on chewing and swallowing. It means that I can talk with friends while hiking because I don’t have to focus all of my attention on how to put one foot in front of the other and maintain balance.

With respect to parenting, our autopilot responses are particularly important. The repeated practices that we cultivate – consciously or unconsciously – shape the way that we respond “on autopilot.” Consider just a few of these practices:

1. Active Listening. The practice of deliberately giving our children eye contact, confirming that we have understood what they are saying, and asking good questions all form habits. When we don’t have the time or “mental space” to think about how to listen, we default (whether we want to or not) to autopilot listening skills that we have practiced.
2. Conflict Resolution. Children have plenty of conflict – with us, and with one another. In many of those instances there are not outside pressures (like being first in line at the grocery store, or being already late for school). In those instances, we can patiently teach wise conflict resolution: identify the interests of all involved, name any wrong done, and brainstorm creative solutions that address any wrong done and satisfy as many interests as possible. Cultivating these skills of conflict resolution help us – and our children – to have good autopilot skills in the heat of the moment.

All of us operate on autopilot in life and in parenting. The pressing question is: What habits, skills and practices do you deliberately cultivate so that you can instinctively respond well to your kids?

Graham Scharf the father of two, co-founder of Tumblon.com and author of The Apprenticeship of Being Human: Why Early Childhood Parenting Matters to Everyone (which is now available for free!). You can follow him on Twitter @tumblondad.

The first one was about a month ago. I was wearing a Stormtrooper t-shirt I had gotten for Christmas. My daughter Lucy was sitting across from me at the table, and said, “I like your shirt, Dad.”

I thanked her, thinking she liked the artsy design and bright colors.

Then she asked, “That’s from Star Wars, isn’t it?”

My ears perked up, because I hadn’t talked that much to her about my favorite movies in the history of the universe. Yet.

“Why yes, it is,” I responded.

The thing she said next solidified that day as my greatest as a Dad.

“I can’t wait to watch that movie. Can you tell me about it?”

She immediately had my undivided attention and I spent the next ten minutes regaling her with stories about a princess (the perfect in!), a bad guy named Darth Vader, and a hero who just so happened to have the same name as her brother (Ben).

Up until that point, I’d had an ongoing internal debate about the proper time to introduce my firstborn to Star Wars. Of course I’d start at Episode 4, but my sense was that I’d probably have to wait until she was four or five. But this unexpected early interest changed everything.

My wife Kim suggested we start her off on some Star Wars children’s books, and wouldn’t you know it, the Easter Bunny just so happened to include a few used ones that he’d found online in her Easter basket. Lucy took to them like a Jawa to a junkyard. She even seemed to understand the overarching plot line, which is not always easy to follow. (Try explaining a “tractor beam” to a three-year-old sometime).

Then came the moment of truth. Kim thought she might be ready for the movie, and I agreed. Last weekend, after dinner, we all switched into our pajamas in settled into the living room for the first installment of Star Wars. (We divided the viewing into two nights.) I tried my best to keep Lucy abreast on what was happening, but she was already with me. Kim humorously observed that I was (allegedly) so enthralled with the movie myself that I didn’t even notice a few questions Lucy was asking me.

Lucy was hooked. In the days that have followed, she’s been playing Star Wars non-stop, running around looking for Ben and muttering about “using the Force.” She’s transformed into Luke Skywalker, Kim is Princess Leia, I am Han Solo (huzzah!) and her little brother morphs between R2-D2 and Chewie.

It was official. The day we watched Star Wars together for the first time became my new greatest day as a Dad.

And today may eclipse even that.

For today, my friend, is Star Wars Day (May the 4th be with you!). And this evening, I will be surprising Lucy by pulling out some of my old Star Wars toys for her to play with.

I predict that her mind will be blown.

And that I may have a new greatest day as a Dad.

Jason Kotecki is a dad who also moonlights as an artist, author, and professional speaker. Jason and his wife Kim (a former kindergarten teacher) make it their mission in life to fight Adultitis and help people use strategies from childhood to create lives with less stress and more fun. Escape Adulthood — stop by www.KimandJason.com and follow them on Twitter @kimandjason

At the time…Chris was one of dozens of contestants on NBC’s The Voice and had just made it onto Christina Aguilera’s team.

Tonight…he’s one of four contestants vying to fulfill a dream and competing tonight to be the winner.

Dads…Chris has an exceptional understanding of social media and how the community of women online connect with each other but let’s show him a thing or two about dads…that we too can motivate an army of advocates.  Watch the show tonight and vote for Chris.

Here’s a message from Chris Mann just for you…with all the details.  Thanks!

The shocking news of the suicide of pro football legend Junior Seau has opened up the discussion about the long-term impact of playing the violent sport of football. There have been many studies in recent years showing the severe effects of repetitive traumatic brain injuries, especially regarding concussions. These injuries often lead to what is termed CTE (Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy) which  is a progressive degenerative disease of the brain found in athletes (and others) with a history of repetitive brain trauma, including symptomatic concussions as well as asymptomatic subconcussive hits to the head. CTE was originally found in boxers but recent studies have discovered traces of this disease in many retired football players. The tricky part of CTE is that is can take effect years after retiring from the sport so the connection to football injury is rather blurred but research is clearing up this rather disturbing reality for too many players. The brain degeneration is associated with memory loss, confusion, impaired judgment, impulse control problems, aggression, depression, and, eventually, progressive dementia.

Now why am I sharing all this on a website for dads and parents? Well, this whole subject matter hits home hard for me and many other parents who have big, strong sons who either play football or desire to do so. Many parents across the country are having serious discussions about the decision to let their child play the violent game or not. This was unheard of only a few short years ago as playing football was as natural as playing baseball but that is no longer the case.  Many parents are making the difficult choice to forbid their children from playing football and opting for less dangerous sports.

As for me, the decision was made by my own son at age 10 after participating in a summer camp session for football at the local high school. My dreams of seeing my boy on the grid iron in high school and college went up in smoke when he realized that he quite simply did not like playing the game at all. I tried to change his mind for the longest time and used every tactic available but nothing worked. He was not going to play football anymore and I was devastated and crushed. Eventually, when I slowly came to my senses I realized that this was his life and that I could not force him to do something he didn’t want to do. I did not want to be the male equivalent of those stage moms who push their little angels into toddler beauty contests. So I learned to let it go.

By the way, here in Georgia, and I’m sure across  the whole south and other parts of the country, they start recruiting kids very young and as early as possible. For example, the local high school started recruiting my son Nicholas when he was only about 6 or 7. They would send their star players to the middle schools and even elementary schools and focused on making impressions on the biggest and strongest looking children with the hopes of planting the seed for playing at their high school versus its competitors. At the time I found the whole practice strange but nothing serious. However, learning about the long term effects of playing football has changed my viewpoint of this common behavior by high school football programs. It also made me feel relieved that my son made the decision to quit the sport as quickly as he did too! I was so glad that he got out before he experienced any type of head trauma or other type of injury. Sadly, injuries are a common part of the game. It’s not if someone gets hurt but when.

Update:
Just today there was news of a class action lawsuit by over one hundred former pro football players against the NFL for not sharing information they had regarding the dangers of repetitive head trauma experienced in the game of football. This brings the total to 1,500 ex-players currently suing the league for withholding this critical data. Look for many more retired players to follow suit (no pun intended). I think all this will lead to radical changes to the sport to make it safer, especially when it comes to head injuries. The NFL has always improved its equipment and rules to protect its most valuable commodities, namely its players, but it seems as if it was still too little, too late for far too many of them. Let’s hope they do everything they can to reduce the risks these modern day gladiators endure for our viewing pleasure.

As for my boy Nicky, he’s 13 now and over six feet tall and 200 pounds already. So the football recruiters were right about him. However, he prefers to play other sports like soccer and baseball and to be honest with you, I am very happy that he’s not playing football after all. The comfort of knowing my sweet boy isn’t getting his head bashed in every time he practices or plays football more than makes up for initial sadness of giving up my dream as a father of watching my son being hailed as a hero on the gridiron. His health and happiness is truly the most important thing to me. Also, he has to choose the dreams he wants to make come true in his life.

photo credit: Ѕolo via photo pin cc

© style-photography.de – Fotolia.com

Woohoo!  This is EPISODE 50 of the Cast of Dads podcast!  As we hit this milestone, I thought I would share the tale of how the Cast of Dads came together…

Back when Sony came a callin’ and invited myself and four other dads to become “DigiDads” and get the chance to play with some of their products, of the five participating dads I only knew C.C. Chapman.  Since then I have had the pleasure of spending time in person with all of the former DigiDads (C.C., Brad Powell, Max Kalehoff and Michael Sheehan) but actually, the five of us have yet to meet as a group in person (brands, are you listening?)  During the DigiDad program we had regular conference calls together, and it was clear that, despite geographic, age, and kid-stage differences, we all got along great, and had a collective kindred spirit about life, parenting, and blogging.

When the DigiDad program ended we really didn’t want to stop our regular calls and our budding friendships, so we decided to keep the dream alive and start a podcast together.  The result is the Cast of Dads.  If you’ve been a regular listener you know that we don’t have much of an agenda.  Really, we’re just being ourselves and having a conversation, and inviting you to listen along.  Between us five dads we have thirteen kids, from toddlers to college grads, so we have lots to talk about and perspectives and opinions on just about every phase of parenting and fatherhood.  I  hope you’ve enjoyed these 50 episodes as much as we have.

Today, I consider Brad, Michael, Max and C.C. among my best of friends, and I truly look forward to every time we get together to record a show.  Of course, the Cast of Dads wouldn’t be half as much fun without you too!  We greatly appreciate your taking the time to listen, and always love hearing your comments and feedback.  THANK YOU!  We hope you’ll continue to tag along for the next fifty shows!

You can CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO CAST OF DADS EPISODE 50.

Topics discussed in episode 50 include:

• Happy 50th Episode
• Boston Marathon
• Running in costumes
• Ringing the dinner bell
• Exposing kids to new foods
• Sarachi Sauce
• The Oatmeal
• LG Makeover Contest – VOTE FOR MICHAEL!!
• Michael’s Makeover
• Weekend with LG in New Orleans
• Convert your old TV to an aquarium
• Old electronics
• Listening to the radio?
• Hacking Tivos
• Max going sailing
• C.C. headed to Ghana with ONE
• Grasscutters
• National Train Day is May 12th
• Taking the train and seeing the country
• Jeff’s neighbor rebuilds steam engines
• Playing with model trains
• Max’s awesome engine
• The magic of dirt
• Power washing
• Draining the snowblower

If you have been enjoying the Cast of Dads podcast, please tell your friends about the show and have them subscribe to either our direct feed or via iTunes.  Also, please leave us a review in iTunes!

Cast of Dads is a group of podcasting and blogging dads who gather to gab about fatherhood. The cast of dads includes C.C. Chapman, Jeffrey Sass, Max Kalehoff, Michael Sheehan, and Brad Powell, who collectively represent 13 kids from the youngest of babies to full grown adults. Each of them brings a unique perspective to being a father.

Jeff Sass is the proud dad of ZEO (Zach, 23, Ethan, 21 and Olivia, 20).  He is also a seasoned entertainment and technology exec and active social media enthusiast.  You can see more of Jeff’s writing at Sassholes! and Social Networking Rehab and you can listen to Jeff on the Cast of Dads and Wunderkind! podcasts.

Shaving is one of the best bonding experiences for dads and sons (ok and sometimes daughters much to the chagrin of moms). Whether they use real shaving cream or fake stuff, the kids love pretending to shave like their dad. I don’t know why it is but there’s something fun about this ritual. I highly recommend doing it sometime and find out for yourself.

When it comes to shaving every morning as a grown up I have to admit that it’s not as much fun. It’s a pain in the neck (sometimes literally) having to take a sharp blade to your face every morning. The other frustrating element is the expense and amount of choices there are when it comes to the razors, blades and even the shaving cream. You can try to be cheap and use the disposable razors which isn’t very green and truth be told they are not very good when it comes to getting a close shave (you get what you pay for). You can go the opposite route (which I’ve done for the most part) and go with the top of the line brands where they keep adding more blades and comfort strips and vibrating motions, etc. You wind up paying more and more for replacement blades which is insane when you think about it. The other camp when it comes to shaving is the electric shaver group who love using their rotating blades device to shave. I’ve gone electric a few times with different types such as the wet/dry electric models which lets you use shaving cream but ultimately I never could get a close a shave as I could with a regular razor….so I went back.

The Dollar a month Razor Club
I’m sure many of you have seen this video that went viral not long ago for a new dollar a month razor club. I have to say that I enjoyed it and think it was long overdue. I knew someone had to come up with a better/cheaper solution for cutting our faces.


The DORCO Club
Well, if that dollar a month deal wasn’t good enough for you, someone discovered an even better one. It was revealed that the dollar razor club actually gets its razors from The Dorco Online Store. You can find some excellent deals on decent grade razors with 6-blades! For example, here’s a 10 pack deal for only $10.50!

Double Edge Wet Shavers

Here’s a good piece from Lifehacker about old fashioned double edge wet shavers which includes using shaving brush to lather your face. Here’s a video of how to use the DE razor that your grandfather used to use.

Here’s a video of a young man comparing shaves with the double edge wet razor and the modern type power razor like the Gillette Fusion.

Summary
Would you be willing to give these types of deals a shot? Do you prefer electric razors or regular razors? Would you go old school and use the double edge razor or is the extreme cost worth the time saving that you get with the power razors? Share your thoughts in the comments.

This is an old piece that went around via emails way back when, long before the social web made things go viral easily. I was not a parent back then but I never forgot it and sure enough it was extremely poignant and totally true when I became a dad and then experienced having a second child. No one prepares you for all of the emotions that come with adding to your family. Sure there’s the joy and excitement that comes with the birth of any baby but I did not realize the mixed emotions that comes with having to share your love and more importantly your precious time with those you love and the new baby. This piece captures the anguish that comes part and parcel with building a family. Ultimately, the end result is usually good and everyone adjusts to the life changing shifts but it’s a long slow transition filled with doubt and confusion as everyone tries to handle their new roles.
It’s never easier with each child either. Don’t be fooled. Sure, you are not as shocked and taken aback by the tsunami of emotions as the first time but it’s still a difficult process and it still hurts until the transition is complete. You still miss the days when you had more time for those you have to steal time from in order to nurture and love the new born. Thus the circle of life.

I’ve also realized that no one’s ever talked about these same feelings that we men feel when we become fathers. Perhaps it’s because we feel a little ashamed for being so selfish and so needy, things men are taught not to ever be. Truth be told, it’s very difficult for men to accept the cold harsh truth that we will never again be the center of our lover’s universe because our child with be the sun we orbit from that moment forward. Our roles change instantly to protectors and nurturers. Yes, we can eventually arrange for date nights and babysitters but all we do is worry about the child and if we screened the temporary guardian well enough (especially if it’s a family member). You wind up talking about what your child did most of the time and cut the evenings short in order to rush back to them. As they get older you can have more focused couple time but as I said before things will never be the same as when the world was just the two of you…in your couple bubble.

However, as this wonderful piece reveals, you realize that it’s not merely the end of your original relationship but the dawning of a new and deeper stage where your family becomes three, four or more. You learn that there isn’t a finite amount of love to go around; you learn that love is indeed infinite and there’s always plenty to go around. We adapt and evolve and find ways to make time for everyone. All time becomes quality time because it’s filled with love.

LOVING TWO

I walk along holding your 2-year-old hand, basking in the glow of our magical relationship.
Suddenly I feel a kick from within, as if to remind me that our time alone is limited.
And I wonder, how could I love another child as I love you?

Then she is born, and I watch you.
I watch as the pain you feel at having to share me as you have never shared me before.

I hear you telling me in your own way, “Please love only me” and I hear myself telling you in mine “I can’t”.
Knowing in fact that I never can again.
You cry, I cry with you.
I almost see our baby as an intruder on the precious relationship we once shared.
A relationship we can never have again.

But then, barely noticing, I find myself attached to that new being, and feeling almost guilty.
I’m afraid to let you see me enjoying her — as though I am betraying you.
But then I notice your resentment change, first to curiosity, then to protectiveness, finally to genuine affection.

More days pass, and we are settling into a new routine.
The memory of days with just the two of us is fading fast.
But something is replacing those wonderful times we shared, just us two.
There are new times — only now we are three.
I watch the love between you grow, the way you look at each other, touch each other.

I watch how she adores you, as I have for so long.
I see how excited you are by each of her new accomplishments.
I begin to realize that I haven’t taken something from you, I’ve given something to you.
I notice that I am no longer afraid to share my love openly with both of you.
I find that my love for each of you is as different as you are, but equally strong.
And my question is finally answered to my amazement.
Yes, I can love another child as much as I love you, only differently.

And although I realize that you may have to share my time, I know you’ll never share my love.
There’s enough of that for both of you — you each have your own supply.

I love you both and I thank you both for blessing my life.

—Author Unknown

One of the best lines is this one at the end
“Why in childhood and youth do we wish time to pass so quickly? We want to grow up so fast yet as adults we wish just the opposite.”